Growth is not easy.

Hey everyone!

This week was my first week in Costa Rica. It has been full of challenges and strengths. I have been attending a school so that I can get certified to each English. The course is tough. There is homework and lesson planning to do almost every day. The days are full of lectures and lots of note taking. It has been great being in “school” again. The teachers make the lectures interesting because they are teaching us just how they want us to teach our students. They use activities that require a good amount of communication between the classmates. We are learning in a way that has never been used in my previous education classes. It’s challenging because we have to type everything the teacher is doing and saying so that we have complete information. This is important because when we go out to teach we will be able to use all the activities, quotes, and information.

Another challenge I am having is the amount of time I am spending with only the guys in the group. There are women in the course other than me. It appears I am the only woman who wants to do what the other guys are doing. Last weekend, I went on a hike to the volcano with them and this weekend I am going to the beach with them. This is difficult for me because I have chosen to not have any guy friends or hang out with them in these types of situations. It has been hard for me. This weekend I will be staying in a room with one or two of the guys because of the beach housing arrangements. I was scared to tell my fiancé that this is what’s will happen. I did not want to tell him this is what I am doing for he will want to do the same in the future. I know this is a hypercritical of me. That is why I do not hang out with guys like I have since being in Costa Rica.

I use all the energy I could to talk to my fiancé about the situation and how I was feeling. We had a very intense conversation about sleeping in the same room with the opposite sex or similar instances. I wanted to cry and scream at him. He told me how he felt about my double standard. I did not like what I heard. It took all my strength to stay calm and hear his side. I realized in this instance that we are both right and we are both wrong. We both have valid points and we have perceptions that are in the way. We both grew up with different ways of seeing relationships. My parents have always had monogamous relationships where as his parents have not. It is known that his parents are open with the fact that they see multiple people at once. This causes him and I to see things differently. He has never cheated on me nor has he ever shown interest in others while with me. The difference in thought processes still shows.

We are learning to see each other’s points of view. This point of view is not wrong and it is not right. There is a median that we have not been able to come to terms with because we do not understand where each other is coming from. I am beginning to see how having guy friends is beneficial for our relationship. There are limits to how and when we should hang out with someone of the opposite sex. Yet, it is healthy to have friends who are of the opposite sex.

I need to delve deeper into this to see what more there is to learn and grow in this area. When I decided to come to Costa Rica my soul was telling me that this will test my limits with my fiancé. It will help us grow and learn more about having a healthy relationship. So far life is giving me exactly what I need and when I need it. There are more thing that I will learn in the next few weeks.


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