Month: June 2017

Writing

writing

Writing is something that I am not that good at. It’s a way for me to push myself to write about my life. I never thought it would be this rewarding. When I started writing my blog I was scared. I didn’t want the whole world to see my writing and think things about me. I started off writing about recipes and my exercising. The exercising posts didn’t last because I have trouble keeping a workout regimen. Th recipes stopped when I got busy with my course in CR. I kept going though. I Kept writing about what’s on my mind. I kept writing about what I am feeling. It’s getting easier and easier to write about what my heart tells me to write. It has been a great journey of seeing where this will go and who I become.

Writing is a way to help me process certain situations. It gets things off my mind so I can see the situation in a different light. I love being able to use writing as a way to get a different perspective on what is happening in my life. I am exciting to see where this writing takes me. Who knows one day maybe I will write a book about my life story. I have thought about it a few times yet never thought I was a good enough writer. I have a long way to go and it will be a few years before that happens.

I encourage you to write about what’s in your life. Write like you can’t stop. Don’t think about it or edit it, just write. It can be in a journal, a word document, or a random piece of paper. It is meant to help you get all the stuff on your mind out. It is something that gets the emotions out. It may not help like it does with me so see what you get. See how it helps you or how it doesn’t. Experiment with your writing see what it does for you!

What is marriage?

Being home has given me a lot to think about over the next few months. There are so many things that I have yet to learn about myself. Getting married is one of them. Getting married is a huge deal. It’s not something that someone should take lightly. I learned this the hard way. I’ve been married once before and thinking about getting married scares the crap out of me. I love my fiancé and he is the most amazing man in the world to me. The things I learn from him are beyond anything I could ever ask for. He pushes me in ways no one else could. He sees things that I don’t see within myself and pushes me to be better. It’s amazing.

So, this brings me to the point of getting married and it being a huge deal. He asked me to marry him last year. We are planning to get married in Costa Rica next year. This is scary. I want to start planning and getting things started. At the same time, I am not ready. I am not ready to start planning and getting things ready because I am not sure. I am absolutely, sure I want to marry Jon. There is no question in my mind that he is the perfect one for me. In fact, I don’t have any questions. There are things about myself that I am not ready to deal with. I am not in a place where I want to be mentally.

Some of the things I want to come to understand is that I don’t need to get married for everyone else. I don’t need to have a fancy ceremony or go to an exotic place to one up my previous wedding. I need to get married when I am ready and he is ready. Marriage is about the laws of nature. It doesn’t matter what papers you have, it matters what you do to grow yourself into a more aware and honest person.

One of the things that I really love about Jon is his sense of what marriage is. It is something that I never thought of. It is something that doesn’t make sense to people. It didn’t make sense to me at first either. It took me a while to get to the point of understanding I have now. I still have a long way to go to understand how he sees marriage, yet I think it is important.

Marriage is deep. Marriage is not just a piece of paper. Marriage is not a fancy wedding. Marriage is between two people and nature. I am not sure how to explain it in words that would make sense. So here is the only way I know how to explain it. I found an article online called “The nature of sacred marriage”. It gives the best explanation possible.

“When Nature is not included in the marriage covenant and in its purpose, then marriage is no longer sacred. It becomes a vehicle with which to measure personal happiness, and if and when this happiness disappears in the face of difficulty, it is not surprising that many marriages end. A sacrament partakes of the Eternal – of the order of Life.  It cannot be altered by law or edict, even though its sacred nature may be forgotten or abused. Marriage, as sacrament, reflects Nature’s intention to share the gifts of love and the joy of love with two, who, through their love, will bring the fruits of their joining to the world for the benefit of the world as well as for themselves. These fruits include but go far beyond the bearing of children. They are the fruits of the soul, the expressions of the soul, bringing what is Divine in each partner into greater manifestation, making each one a truer reflection of their inner being. The sacramental nature of marriage makes it more than a physical bond, more than an emotional bond. It is, in its deepest meaning, a spiritual bond, built out of the depth of love between two souls. To consecrate a marriage is to bring it into concordance not with two wills but with three – that of the two souls involved and that of nature.” (they used God. I changed it to nature)(http://lightomega.org/Ind/Pure/Sacred_Marriage.html)

This is what I am learning to understand because I want a happy and long-lasting marriage. I want something that is a whole lot more than my last marriage. I want something that has depth and meaning. With Jon, I have that. I have someone who will push me to think differently. I have someone who will tell me the truth. He and I both know that the depth can be deeper. He and I both know that we have to grow more in tune with nature’s laws to have a lasting and fruitful marriage. That is what we are striving for. Until we feel in tune to nature’s laws marriage will be put on hold. We may have a five-year engagement, who knows. It is okay because MARRIAGE takes work so we will do some work now to make sure it we are doing it for the right reasons.

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Date Night: Moments Playlist

My fiancé and I get these date boxes in the mail called crated with love. They give us four activities to do with each other as date night ideas for the month. We tend to do them all in one night, although they are intended for one a week. We get these because sometimes I don’t want to plan something and he can’t think of anything so we just pull out a box and do the cards! This last one was super fun! It was 80s themed. One of the activities was to use moment cards that are provided to create a playlist. We would choose the best fitting song for that particular moment. It didn’t have to be an 80s song, it was a bonus if you chose 80s songs.

The moments were as listed: our first date, my favorite memory of our relationship, the first time I met your family, the last romantic moment we had, our first trip or vacation, our first kiss, our first date, the moment I fell in love with you, the first time we met, a memorable gift you gave me.

 

My moments and the songs I chose.

Our first kiss: KISS by Prince

This is the perfect 80s song for us because we kissed a couple hours after we met. It wasn’t supposed to last as long as it has. We didn’t have any expectations when we met because we only met because our friends didn’t want to be on their date alone. So I met him from my friend and he met me from his friend. “you just leave it all up to me”

 

Our first date: Here and now by Luther Vandross

On our first date we went on a hike to Great Falls in Maryland. We had a great date yet it was full of confusion and unknown for me. I was not sure what I was feeling. The feeling I had was something new to me. I heard the lyrics to this song and thought that’s what I felt. I felt “what happiness really means, the love that we share makes life so sweet”

 

The moment I fell in love with you: Under the bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers

This was actually the song my fiancé was singing to me the moment I fell in love with him. I do not know why he chose this song yet I know I fell in love with him in that moment. He was singing this song to me with his hand caressing my face and looking into my eyes. I had never had any guy do that so I just fell instantly. “ it’s not an 80s song I know!!) I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day take me back to the place I love take me all the way”

 

The first time we met: Don’t Stop Believing by Journey

“strangers waiting up and down the boulevard their shadows searching in the night don’t stop believing hold on to that feelin’” That is perfect for us. We were strangers meeting in Annapolis one night and we can’t stop believing and holding on to that feeling’ we had that night.

 

A memorable gift you gave me: Endless Love by Lionel Richie

I chose this song for the memorable gift because my fiancé got me a necklace that means entangled. It means The Entangled symbol was born out of a deep spiritual connection between two souls who were drawn to one another. Together they found true joy in the essence of life. It was as if the two shared one heart and they had finally come home to rest. “two hearts, two hearts that beat as one… You’ll be the only one ’cause no one can deny This love I have inside And I’ll give it all to you My love My love, my love My endless love”

 

I challenge you to use these moments to create your own playlist and share it with you significant other. Have them do the same and compare the playlists! See what they come up with!

date night