I have been doing a lot of thinking about how to be a better friend. I found that I am not good at showing friends appreciation and love. It got me thinking about my friends from home. I have a few friends at home. I don’t talk to most of them except occasionally. I used to talk to them more when our lives where not so different. Now we have jobs, and lives separate from each other. When we get so busy working our crazy jobs or have a life that keeps us apart it makes it hard to talk. Part of me thinks that if we are friends we should reach out even just to say hey how are you, yet this doesn’t happen except one way. It gets hard to send messages and get no replies or a reply months later. It takes a lot of energy and time to try to reach out when there is no feedback except when their lives are free.
So, I wonder… is there something wrong with me? Why do “my friends” not seem to respond or want to hang out other than once every three to four month? Why do other people seem to have an abundance of friends who they go on trips with and hang out on a regular basis and I don’t? What is there for me to learn from all this? What can I do to be a better friend? A friend that people want to hang out with and go places with. I can definitely say I am in a much better place than I was 5 years ago. I have learned a lot about friendship and still have a long way to go.
I was on Facebook this afternoon and realized that people who have friends who are close send shout outs to their friends in a show of appreciation. I don’t really do this. I have trouble telling my close friends what they mean to me. For birthday wishes, it’s just a happy birthday have a great day. When it should be a more loving and appreciative wish to them.
Recently, my neighbors have made comments about how they like me and such. As they would say things like that I could notice I never said anything about liking them and appreciating how awesome they are and how much I will miss them when they leave in a week. A true friend would want to share with the world how awesome the best friends are. I tell the world how awesome my fiancé is so why can’t I do that with my best and close friends?
As a part of my journey of becoming my better self I am going to push myself to be appreciative of my friends and see what happens.
To start this off right now… Evelin, is an amazing friend of mine. Despite having a crawling baby and a full-time job she makes time to talk with me and see how I am doing. She shares what’s going on in her life with me from the small things like the fruit she ate that day to the big things like the baby starting to crawl. We met when we worked at Claire’s in July 2010 and have been friends since. Even after I left Claire’s we made time to have lunch or chat on the phone. The last two years we have grown closer and I appreciate all the things we have gone through. I loved being there when her water broke and the baby was born. I loved being able to talk about breakups and lows we are having with life. I felt so blessed to have her in my life. I have learned so much from her. Even though I am in Costa Rica and she is in Maryland, I feel close to her. We talk at least twice a week and send photos and videos to each other. The other day I was on an adventure to a town nearby. While I was on the bus we were texting about her part time job she just got and a man got on the bus and started speaking to the whole bus. Since it was in Spanish I had no idea what he was saying. I told her and she said to message her a recording of him and she would translate (she speaks Spanish). I sent her the recording and she translated. He was preaching some bible stuff. These are the times I love and appreciate about my friendship with her. Out of all my friends, she is one of the only friends who reaches out and makes an effort. I appreciate the effort and love I feel from her on a daily basis. It is amazing to have a best friend like her!
Thank you, Evelin for everything that you do. I love you and our friendship! To many more years of growth and love!