“Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow. We must lose in order gain. Sometimes, some lessons are learned best through pain.” This quote is hitting home for me right now. I am hurting and losing so that I can grow and learn. I am learning so much about myself with this pain and hurt. There are so many lessons I am learning even though I am angry, upset, and mad. Those things are just my ego telling me that I am the victim. I had to yell and scream before I was able to say there is something on the other side of those feelings. My heart said “listen to me. I can show you the way to happiness.” I started listening and found out what I can do to better myself so that I can grow and be happy. I found out that I need to be honest and direct about the things that are being told to me by my intuition. Doing the things my heart is telling me is hard. I want to cry because a part of me doesn’t want to do it. I don’t want to go through this pain and hurt. I want it to be easy and pain free. That isn’t going to happen all the time because some lessons are learned best through pain.
Last night my fiancé and I got into a fight about something we have fought about many times in the past. It’s really hard to be a thousand miles away from the one that you love. You don’t have the physical or normal ways you use to show affection. All you have in communication. You can skype or facetime yet it’s still based on communication. I knew making this move to Costa Rica would test our communication in more ways than one. Last night, really brought to light how important communication is. We haven’t always had good communication when we lived with each other. I knew moving down here we would have to find new and healthier ways to communication. That’s one of the millions of reasons I made the move. We are supposed to get married next year. I don’t want to marry him unless I know we are in the right space for that. We aren’t right now. After this year of growth and struggle we will be. Why? Because we will have built an amazing foundation that was made from hard work and communication. Once that is built, we will be able to get through anything.
I have been learning that trusting in the universe and having faith will give you everything you need and more. I have been having emotions I haven’t had in over a year. These emotions are high in energy. They are the driving force for me to dig deep within myself. These are the emotions that are giving me strength to put myself out there. I am feeling so feminine and beautiful. I am feeling confident and secure. I am in pain and I am in love. Life is such a wonderful thing.
Take away, that pain does not always have to be a horrible thing because in that pain you will find truth, love, and growth. How long it takes, depends on how long you take to let your guard down and let the truth, love, and growth into your heart.