I’ve been thinking about regret lately. Recently, someone asked me, “if I could change anything in my past what would it be?” My reply was “nothing.” This surprised everyone in the room. I have had a lot of things happen that I would want to change don’t get me wrong. I would have loved for my grandmother to have lived to see me today. I would have loved to have my marriage last longer than 2 years. I would have loved to have been a better best friend to a long time friend of mine. The thing is, I wouldn’t do anything differently in my past marriage. I wouldn’t have done anything differently with my long term friend. I wouldn’t have changed my grandmother’s death even if I could.
This seems silly and absurd to most people because they wouldn’t want to go through a divorce or a death of a loved one. To me, this is life, lessons learned. I have learned so many things from my past. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for my past. I have made mistakes. I have had sadness. I have lost people. The thing is that the mistakes, sadness, and loss has shown me what I am capable of. It has shown me what I deserve. It has given me the strength and hope to keep growing.
I do not regret the way I was with my ex-husband. I was a horrible wife. I didn’t give him space or the trust he deserved. I was clingy and suffocating. Don’t get me wrong, I was also loving and silly with him too. The thing is he and I were not soul mates. We were not supposed to marry each other for the long haul. We were put into each others lives so that we could learn something about ourselves. After we separated, we found that special person for each other that is right for us. He found a women that gave him what I never could. I found a man that showed me real love and commitment. If I changed anything that happened in that marriage, we might not have found the person who was perfect for us. He just so happened to have found the women he needed in the mist of our ending marriage. I found my man a few months after my marriage ended. During the few months between my marriage and meeting Jon I learned many things about myself that I would never change. If I changed my past marriage I might not have learned those things when I did.
I am grateful for my past. I am grateful for the memories and the lessons I learned. I am grateful for the life I have now because of the hard times I went through. I have more things to learn and more mistakes to make. I have more things to be grateful for in the future. I look for those times because life is worth loving and living.
Another quote that sticks out to me is… “don’t regret anything. At one time, it was exactly what you wanted.” All the things I’ve gone through were things I wanted at one point, whether it was conscious or unconscious. I wanted the pain and I wanted the love and everything else in between. If I say I regret that choice or this choice, I am denying a part of me. I accept all of me and that means my mistakes and my accomplishments. I love myself completely. I love my past because it was once what I wanted. It was what I needed to propel myself forward into a deeper understanding.
Life is too short to regret. So, love your past. Learn from your past. And accept your past with all your heart so that you can grow deeper within yourself. The more you grow the higher your vibrations will be!