The last time I wrote I talked about a mistake I had recently made. It took me a few days to come to terms with the mistake and the fact that I hurt someone. I felt horrible. I spoke with some of my friends and I realized that beating myself up about it was not going to change anything. I couldn’t do anything about what happened except forgive myself and move on. So that’s what I did. I forgave myself and moved on. I figured out what I needed to change so it hopefully doesn’t happen again.
Since then I have been able to just be myself again. A better version of myself because now I am stronger. I also have a better understanding of myself and the things that scare me. The person I hurt has forgiven me. I cannot say it is back to how it was because that is impossible. I can say that we are in a better place now. There is more love and understanding than there was before. There were a lot of things that we both realized. We chose to “start over”. I can say that I have never been able to just start over with someone before. The past has always been there. With him, I have been able to start fresh from this new place and keep going. It feels right and it feels good. This is a new thing for me because we both started from a new place. Things are definitely different yet they are how it’s supposed to be. It feels so much better. It feels more right than it did before.
It is crazy how you can try the same things with other people and it never work. There is always something there. It feels amazing to start fresh and come from a good place. I wish I could describe this better. There just are no words for what has happened and who I am now. I have grown as a person. I accomplished a goal that I set out to have 6 years ago. I achieved my goal and now it’s time for a new and bigger goal.
On Tuesday night, I made a new goal with myself and the universe. I will do everything in my power to achieve this goal because it’s important to me and the journey it will take me to get to that goal will be one that will change my life forever just as the last goal I had did. Who I am now compared to 6 years ago is a completely different person. If you told me 6 years ago I would be where I am now I’d never believe you. So I know that in whatever time it takes me to achieve this goal I will look back and say the same thing. I am ready for the next level of my life so it takes a next level goal. I am going to do everything in my power to make these goals a reality because it is my life and I chose to go after what I want.
Everybody, make goals that will change you as a person. Make goals that will push you to be a better you. Make goals that will test you. Make goals that will get motivated to become stronger. You got this!! And I will tell you… you are worth it!!