Life has been showing me some amazing things about myself lately. I really am stronger than I think I am. I have also come a very long way with my emotions. There are times that my emotions show very clearly on my face that may take a while to work on. How I respond to things really has changed. I don’t speak as quickly as I used to. I put a lot more thought into the emotions and feelings that I am having. I am not always the best at this yet this week has shown me that I can do it a lot more easily than I used to.
As you all know, I made a mistake recently. This week, I was pretty awesome. I was able to hold my tongue multiple times. I was able to see things in a different perspective. I was able to come from a place of love and understanding. I was able to forgive myself for what I had done and move on. Of course, I learned from the experience and I’m doing what I can to prove that I am sorry and that I messed up. It’s okay to mess up because that is where you grow. It’s what you DO when you mess up that is everything. I messed up and I am proving with my actions what I said with my words.
I realize more now than ever how much actions speak louder than words. I said I would do something and I am doing it. I am doing exactly what I said I would do because my actions will show way more than my words. The thing is my actions may not be seen right away. That is okay because they are being seen by the people meant to see them.
With relationships, you can’t look at what the people say. You have to look at their actions because their actions will show you exactly where they are. I look at my past relationships with friends or boyfriends it doesn’t matter, it’s all the same. If you want to be in someone’s life you will make it happen no matter what. You can say “oh I miss you” or “oh we should talk” all you want. If you REALLY mean it you WILL call or make time to see that person. There is no better way to show someone how you feel than by your actions.
My best friend in the states, she and I talk all the time. She has a baby and two jobs… guess what? She still makes time to message or call me. I have other friends in the states who never call or message. I am always the first to message them. They never message me. I have to hold the conversation. That is not a friendship. Friendships go both ways. Friends make time no matter how busy their schedule is or what is going on in there life.
One of the reasons my best friend and I are still friends after 7 years is because she and I own up to our mistakes. We make an effort to be there for each other. We do what we need to do to show love or anger if we need to. We forgive and we move on. We don’t pretend that we are all good when things fall apart. We are honest with our feelings and don’t take them personally. We make the effort we need to make to keep the relationship going because we know that our friendship is valuable. We learn and grow from each other, which is the most valuable thing you can do. If I call her out on her shit or ask her a question she thinks about it with everything she has. She doesn’t give me some bullshit answer. She knows I will see right through the bullshit. And she does the same thing with me.
If I could take one thing from my life that would make my life better…. That would be to look at peoples actions before believing their words. Actions are everything. Words only have meaning if there is an action following it.