I come with a warning… once a man gets to know the real me, they might (probably will) run away. How I live my life is hard for most people (especially men) to be with. When I meet a guy and I think there might be a chance for a dating relationship I warn them that once they get to know me they won’t want to be with me. (this maybe a bad thing)
By being me, I push buttons they never knew they had. They can grow past them or stay the same. I will continue to evolve. My life purpose is to be who I am so people can hopefully question the matrix they live in and unplug themselves. I have come to terms with being alone and never finding the “one” because it will take a very special man to be what I need. I may never find that person and I’m okay with that.
There are many men out there that have the knowledge and potential to live a brilliant and amazing life with me. The thing is they will have to let go of the part of them that doesn’t work for them. We all have defects that hold us back from a wonderful life, me included. I work every day to find and destroy my defects. I want to unplug from the matrix and live an extraordinary life. If someone wants that life with me they need to do the same. It can be done in whatever way that works for them. Yet, they need to work just as hard as I do to find and get rid of the defects that hold them back.
Some defects can be so ingrained in the person they do not see what it does. Some people ignore emotions and feelings because it is too tough to deal with. They have mask on that says “I’m happy and nothing is wrong.” When in reality, they are absolutely miserable. Some people enable their family members to do things that are holding both people back from having a life of freedom. These defects can be hard to see and acknowledge because they have lived their entire life like this. It’s “normal”.
I have defects, many defects in fact. Some of my defects I have shared with you in recent blog posts. The thing is… I don’t want normal. I want incredible. I want extraordinary. I question everything and anything that happens in my life. I question my questions sometimes. I have not always done this. I started doing this (6 years ago) and it changed my life. I can’t stop doing this. I won’t stop doing this because my life is something one could only feel and experience.
Questioning things and working to unplug myself scares people in my life. It scares them away because the fear of the unknown is too much for them. They would rather stay in the normal and comfortable. It’s easier to do that. It’s easy to do what you have always done. I however cannot do that. I cannot stay in the comfortable. I chase the unknown like my life depends on it because my life depends on the growth and awareness I am chasing. If you want to do the work and dig into the unknown… come with me. I will take you with me down the rabbit hole. If you want to stay comfortable that’s okay too. I just won’t wait around because I got things to see and things to experience. I can’t hold myself back for someone who isn’t willing to come with me. Sometimes the path we are on together only lasts for a short time before they have to go down their own path of finding themselves. I am content with people coming and going from my life.
It is very, very hard to leave without someone. I want everyone to have a life that is free from the the things that hold us back. I want everyone to live at their fullest potential. I can’t force someone to want that. When the times comes and I have to “leave” that person, it kills me inside. If I love the person with my entire heart and I have to leave then behind…. that is the absolute worse feeling in the world. Yet, for me to do the work I am set out to do, it has to be done. I am nervous about saying this because it won’t sit right with everyone. I do know that it will sit right with the people who understand and know what I am talking about. I will push ahead and publish this because the universe says that it’s what’s needed. Life is about being vulnerable, right?
Life is beautiful and there is something to learn from each person we meet. No matter how long someone is in your life for learn from them. Grow from the experience to break out of the box or to unplug yourself from the matrix. This life is meant for us to live and experience. You can’t experience a wonderful, extraordinary, or incredible life if you are comfortable and safe. Get out there and learn. Put yourself in situations that make you grow and question life as you know it. If you never ask questions you won’t ever know any different.