Happiness?

Today I am leaving on a trip to Santiago, Chile. It has been a unexpected trip for someone I know that had passed away. The trip is going to be a life changing trip. I know this because there are somethings working against me trying to convince me not to go. In my heart, I know that this is the best thing for me spiritually. I know going is going to be an experience of a lifetime. It will show me parts of myself I never knew existed. It will show me what I am capable of and what I can accomplish in ways I can’t even imagine.

I am learning with this trip to be patient. To love and understand different things. As I am preparing for this trip, I realize there are people who are really angry. They have resentment towards things in their lives that make them angry. I can see this very clearly because that’s how I used to live my life. Everyone was against me. Everyone got things I couldn’t have. Everyone seemed happy and I was angry I couldn’t be happy like them. Friends would tell me about something good in their life and I would tell them “fantastic, great for you.” Which sounds like I care, and in reality I am just jealous and angry they have something I don’t.

Until I started planning this trip, I never noticed this part of me. I am seeing that I am truly happy with my life because I am making it my own. I am not living for other people. I am doing what I feel is right in my heart. I am letting go of what I thought would make me happy and letting in what really makes me happy. What really makes me happy is becoming a better version of me. What really makes me happy is loving people and giving them a smile to brighten their day. What really makes me happy is being around people who want me to succeed and see what I am capable of. Being around people who love me for who I am and not trying to make me into what they want.

This life is too short to be angry or resentful. This life is meant for living, loving, and growing. The only way to live a life that is meaningful is to be honest with yourself about how you feel and what your going through. If your not honest, how can you find the truth? If your not honest, how can you see what’s really going on inside you?

You can’t pretend your something your not. I can’t pretend I am happy when in reality I am miserable. The misery or emotions show on your face, it shows in your body language. When you are truly happy and at peace, your body and face look different. People who are truly happy have a light and peaceful face. They look younger and more vibrant.

You can’t run or hide from your true feelings. Own them and transmute them into something amazing. Life won’t be all sunshine and roses yet if your honest with yourself it makes life a whole hell of a lot easier. It makes like enjoyable and worth living.

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