I Live A Crazy Life.

You guessed it, I am on a plane again. I am headed to NYC for an IHP weekend. Something about flying alone get me thinking about life. It gets me connected with myself.

It has been about a week since I got back from Chile. i am still dealing with credit card and passport situations that area result of my bag being stolen. I was told that I will be on a list going through customs now due to my passport being stolen. This whole things makes me laugh. my life is crazy and I absolutely love it.

I have run into issues getting my create cards replaced. I had the credit card company mail the new card to my dad’s house. It was a windy day and the mail man just put in on the porch. It blew away. My dad couldn’t find it so we cancelled it and had a new one IMG_1370sent to NYC. On the way to the gym, my dad found the mail under a car down the street.

I have run into more questions and more security checks when travelling internationally now. In the past, i would be freaking out and angry. Something has changed within me because I just laugh now.  Nothing can mess with my peace and happiness.

Last week when I got back i had a breakdown. i got scared and fearful. I didn’t want to leave my house. i realized in that breakdown that this was exactly what my spirit needed to transform. To become something new. I let these emotions move through me and what I was left with was amazing peace.

I am happy. I am peace. I have never in my life been so happy with my life and myself. I am in awe of the life I have. I have this new peace. Things keep happening to break me down. It hasn’t even affected me. I just think “okay, col what’s next?”

I had a boyfriend for the last month. He was really nice. He seemed happy. Something didn’t seem right though so i just watch myself around him. Little by little things didn’t add up. I felt like there was something he wasn’t telling me. I asked him what was going on in his life because I felt like he was hiding something from me. He told me he wasn’t hiding anything. I have this power to tell when people lie to me. The bell in my head went off real loud…. He is lying. I had a friend of mine do some digging. Let’s just say everything he told me about his life was a lie. When I confronted him, he just had more lies. I had more questions than answers. I am not about that so I told him not to contact me again.

In the past, I would be so upset and angry about this. How could someone lie to me? For some reason, i just let it go and moved on. I didn’t let the lies affect me and my peace.

Then I spoke to my ex fiance. He told me all about what’s happening in his life. He has a new girlfriend and she is a doozie. When he told me what was happening in his life, it made me think “oh boy, you are headed in the wrong direction. This is not the man I know. what’s happening” I never once thought it was my fault he is where he is. One could say that i didn’t leave him in the best way.

In the past, I would make it my fault. I would feel horrible. This time, I am good. I know what I did and I am confident I did what was right. I am at peace with myself. I cannot change him. I can’t make him see something he is not ready to see. All I can do is grow myself.

We all have a choice. You can chose to evolve or stay the same. I chose to evolve even if it’s painful. I chose love, forgiveness, peace, and freedom. I don’t have time for anger or resentment. I don’t have time for blaming. I am responsible for my actions and my actions only.

I could be angry at the man that stole my bag. I could be angry that my boyfriend lied to me about his whole life. I could be angry at my ex fiance for moving in with his girlfriend because that’s what I wanted from him. I have many reasons to be angry right now. I chose love and laughter because the only person that anger hurts is me. Any does nobody any good so why chose to be angry?

Choosing happiness and laughter in a time of madness is the most liberating feeling. I feel unstoppable. I have more power now than I ever did holding on to anger, blame, and resentment. This is my life and I will live it with integrity, love, and pave. I will laugh my way through life.

It’s funny because I see how being happy and laughing my way though the craziness change the people around me. My first flight today, I talked to a man and a group of ladies about living in Costa Rica. I told them about my passport and all the situations I have been in. I did it all with laughter. This made them smile. They all knew the situations weren’t the best. I know that because I told them with a laugh an peace i left an impression on them. I know this because the man told someone else my story (after we had gone our separate ways), who ran into me. The girl asked me if I had sat with a man with a long pony tail. I told her yes. She told me that he was just telling her about my passport issue and everything. Imagine if I had anger and told them the stories? If i had been angry and resentful that’s what they would feel. I know that I left them changed in some way because of how I was. I am changing the world one laughable, painful story at a time.

My stories and situations are inspiring others. Its showing people that in times of pain and suffering, peace and laughing are possible. My strength and love are changing the world.

What you do have a ripple affect. One small action can have a larger affect on society than you could ever imagine. Would you rather “ripple” love and laughter or anger and resentment? It’s your choice.

Oh and I got bit by mosquito in my sleep, on my lip. IMG_1381

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