Life is beautiful! Life has been taking me on a journey of a lifetime. I am happy and excited to be where I am. It is just too funny. The things that life throws at you to learn about yourself is amazing.
First, I got my tattoo finished. I decided against color. Something is telling me that you don’t need to be full of bright colors to be beautiful. Sometimes black and white is amazing and beautiful all on its own. I am in love with the finished product and I won’t be adding color. Sometimes seeing things in black and white can change your perspective in a way that seeing color cannot. I am still beautiful and amazing even if there are no bright colors.
Second, I am fostering a dog. His name is Copito. He is amazing. He is full of life and love. He has shown me so many things in the last 3 weeks. I know he will not be in my life forever. I know that he has a purpose and family waiting for him out there somewhere. I do know that what he and I are experiencing is something that I will carry with me forever. He has changed my life. I am excited to see where this adventure with him takes us.
Third, I made a trip to the doctors again. My toe nail fell off a few weeks ago. I went to see why. It turns out that it has a fungus or something. The medicine to treat it is very hard on your liver so I had to get blood tests done to make sure my liver is well. The blood tests came back elevated so I went to get an ultrasound. My liver is fine, which is great news. On the other hand, I have kidney stones. They are a bit too big to pass on their own. I need to see a specialist to get treatment to make them smaller.
Fourth, I am learning so much about life. I have been going on adventures with an intern at work. She is from France. She has been at my school for 3 months working on a project for her program in France. She and I have become good friends in this short time. We have gone on many adventures together. We took a trip to Rio Celeste, Arenal, and Monteverde. We have had conversations that have helped me grow and see life differently. It’s been an amazing experience. She goes back to France tomorrow. So the last few days we have just been having fun and really enjoying life. It has been a wonderful time.
She and I have been talking about life and the things that I do in my life. It has been great to share the ups and downs of life with her. Yesterday, we were talking about the guy that I saw a few months back. She knows him as well so it makes it easier for us to talk about it. He has been ignoring a lot of my questions recently. I had explained to her why I thought that was happening and what that meant for me.
After work yesterday, he started messaging me about his life. Which he has done in a while. He was telling me about how he was scared about what could happen with his job and his family moving here. I could tell he was scared. I could tell he needed support. He just didn’t know how. Normally, I can send him a funny video or something to make him smile for him to be okay. I did this. His response was “I cannot pretend that everything is okay, because it is not okay.” He may not know it, yet that is a huge step for him to admit. This makes me happy.
I know that I have made mistakes with my relationship with him. I did things that did not help either of us. There were consequences for those things. I am now seeing those and becoming conscious of them. I am happy that I have this man in my life. He is a great friend in many ways. I am glad that he is a mirror for me to see the defects within me that I need to overcome. I have become aware of many defects I never knew existed in the last few months from my relationship with him. It is an amazing feeling when you can see these amazing things. As hard as it is to acknowledge and see it is beautiful. It is powerful. It is energy and life.