Because People are Watching

I haven’t written in a while because so much has been going on. It’s the end of the trimester at school. I have been preparing grades, talking with parents and preparing for our Christmas school. One of the biggest things I have been experiencing is having something hit so close to home.

In the United States, there are people who discriminate or judge people based on things people in the culture do. There are many people that think that they should close the US border to people coming in. They say there are too many illegals who aren’t paying taxes or are taking away jobs from the US people, and so on. Some people think they are only criminals coming into the country and it isn’t making the country safe. Which is true, that is a high possibility. However, not everyone coming into the country have bad intentions. I never really understood this until some recent events in my life.

In CostaRica, the Costa Ricans have judgments towards Nicaraguans. Just as some people from the US have towards Mexicans or other immigrants. It has always been a part of the culture and way of life here. Within the last year, the situation in Nicaragua had changed, causing many of them to come to Costa Rica for jobs and safety. Some come legally, some come illegally.

A few weeks ago, an American- Venezuelan woman was visiting Costa Rican for her birthday. The night before she was to go back to the US, she was killed by an illegal Nicaraguan man that was working in her AirBnB. This is a horrible and tragic event that happened. The AirBnB owner did not take precautions to protect the guests by hiring a man that was illegally here. So many people have been affected by this in ways I never thought would affect me. The family and friends of the young woman are devastated by her losing her. The country is now dealing with tourist not feeling safe to visit. Nicaraguans are being judged based off of actions of a few.

This is affecting me because I am dating a Nicaraguan. He is legally in Costa Rica. And He has been here for many years. I never thought that I would have to be careful about the things I do in my own home because people are watching. The other day, I was in some pain because of my Endo. I started crying. Jonathan is always the best at comforting me. This time was a little different. He still comforted me and was there for me. He had to warn me to not cry or to cry very quiet because the neighbors are listening. I was confused as to why he said that. When I asked why he responded because the neighbors can think he is hurting me. I was blown away by this.

Fast forward a couple weeks… I get a knock on the door of my apartment. It was the neighbors in the back asking to speak to Jonathan. He was unfortunately not home, so I told them he will come by when he gets home from work. Some people were telling the neighbors to be cautious around Jonathan because he’s untrustworthy and does drugs. Which is not true by any means. Jonathan has had a past with drugs. Heis open about that because it is his past. It is something that he has not done in a very long time. He is trustworthy or my landlord would not have given him keys to the complex when he worked for him a few months back. I would have also noticed things missing from my house.

All of this has been hard for me to wrap my head around. I am not sure what to think about the situation. I have mixed feelings about it as well. This is a new experience for me. I am learning to love, laugh, and be happy regardless of what is being said. I know that I won’t stop being me. Jonathan and I have nothing to hide so we are living life as normal as possible.

Being put into this position is difficult. It’s requiring some growth and awakening within me to be able to understand fully what the feelings and emotions I am having are. As I am with all my life experiences, I am happy to have this practice of understanding.

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