Sometimes relationships aren’t all sunshine and roses. There are times full of difficulty and confusion. It’s not easy to go through and in the end, it does make you stronger if you work through whatever is put in your path. I have talked about some amazing things that have happened in my relationship with Jonathan. He is a great guy that respects and shows me love. Our relationship is good. We have a lot of fun and silly times. However, our relationship lately has been tested by a number of things that we have worked through for the most part. There is one thing that is a constant issue for us.
COMMUNICATION…. This is the hardest part of our relationship. Since we don’t speak the same language fluently it makes it really hard to communicate. I believe it is the hardest for Jonathan to do because his main love language is physical. He has a harder time putting into words what he wants to say or communicate. My main love language is words of affirmation. It is much easier for me to talk and ask questions because it is how I feel the most love.
I believe he gets overwhelmed when he wants to communicate with me because I don’t always understand his Spanish. My Spanish has come a long way since I moved to Costa Rica. I do still have a long way to go with understanding and using the language. It is not always convenient to use google translate. And quite frankly, we get tired of using the phone to talk. Neither of us knows what to do about this, other than be patient with each other. It is easier for him to be patient with it because he feels love the most with being physical. I get frustrated and upset because I don’t have the communication I want. I can remind myself all day long that it’s temporary because I am learning Spanish and it’s not enough sometimes. I want that communication with him. When I have girlfriends to talk to it does make it easier. However, my girlfriends have lives that don’t always allow us to hang out and chat. Also, it is not the same thing talking with girlfriends as it is talking with him. I want to know him more. We have only been together for 6 months; there is so much more we have to learn about each other. I want to be a part of his life. If we aren’t talking about his life, I feel like I am not a part of it.
I don’t need or want to talk all the time or every day. I do want to know what’s happening with his children, and what his plans are for the future. He was supposed to take an English course. It hasn’t happened yet. I ask what’s going on with it and his response is I don’t know. Am I asking too much to want to know these things? Is it a cultural difference between us? What will I do about it if it continues to stay like this?
What do you guys deal with in relationships that have you feeling upset and frustrated? Do any of you have a relationship with someone who doesn’t speak your native language? If so, what do you do to communicate better?