6 Books that will change your life.
On this journey of life I am on, I have read many books. Some personal development books I read and thought well that was a waste of time. And there are others, I have read and changed my life. Life is a journey of discovering who YOU ARE and the true potential that YOU HAVE locked away inside. Books, travel, and experience can be the KEY to opening that potential.
I love my job as a teacher. It is rewarding and pays the bills. It is not the main thing I want to do with my life. I want to influence woman (or men) to be courageous, brave, and confident in all they do. My journey of discovery started by reading books. Reading all kinds of books. Christian books to spiritual books to business entrepreneur books. I took what I learned from the different books and used them to become the confident, brave, and independent woman I am today.
Since these books have helped me unlock my TRUE POTENTIAL, I wanted to share them with you so you can UNLOCK your POWER.
1. Breaking the Cycle of Divorce: John Trent
This was the first book I read when I first started my journey of finding myself. I was going through a divorce and felt lost, hopeless, confused, and scared. The book gives you questions at the end of the chapters to help you start to understand what I happening in your life. When I was able to answer these questions honestly, I was able to see where my faults in my marriage came from. This allowed me to start to overcome them.
Standing alone this book does not help me understand everything. I still had questions after I read it. This book allowed me to start asking myself questions. The books that follow helped give this book more meaning and understanding. It was a great starting book for understanding why my marriage and love life was the way it was.
2. The Four Agreements and The Four Agreements Companion Book: Don Miguel Ruiz
The Four Agreements is an amazing book that creates a new way of being with four simple yet sometimes hard ideas. The four agreements is great by itself, but the companion book is more in depth. It has questions and asks you to create a journal or notebook to write down your thoughts. It gives you more concrete support because it requires action. It’s not just a book you read and put down, but a book that requires thought and effort. The Four Agreements is more of a read and put down type book. The companion book takes more time because to get the most out of it you do the activities in the chapters.
I do not suggest reading The Four Agreements Companion Book without first reading The Four Agreements. The main book should be read before the companion book. The Four Agreements goes into detail what the agreements are and how you should use them in your life. The companion guide helps you dig deeper within yourself to recognize where they come from.
3. The Power of Now: Eckhart Tolle
This book helped me understand exactly what the title says… the POWER of NOW. It allowed me to understand what staying in the moment looked like. In every crisis, there is an opportunity hidden within it that you can unveil. The only way to get what is hidden is by not denying the facts. Understanding and accepting reality as it is in front of you. Crisis, challenges, and any situation that causes you pain and trouble is there for you to uncover some hidden potential or understanding about yourself. The author speaks about transforming relationships, cycles of life, enlightenment, and the power to choose.
Every chapter has amazing insights into how not being in the moment can affect them. An example from the chapter on relationships that helped me understand why I was so unhappy in relationships is “If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that a relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then you relationship will offer you salvation…” Once I read this and truly comprehended it, it changed my life. This was such a huge problem in my marriage. I wanted him to make me happy. I wanted him to make my life complete. After reading that, I understood that the marriage I had would not bring me the life I wanted. I needed to use the relationships to become conscious. This consciousness would lead to a more rewarding and happy life whether it was with friends, family, or a partner.
This book is great to read if you want to find out what certain things just never work out for you. If you read this book and love it, you will want to read the next book on my list.
4. A new earth: Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth built on what I read in the Power of Now. It made connections to the world and how I can affect the world. It allowed me to understand how evolving my consciousness can change the world. Tolle talks about how our attachments to people, things, and ideas can affect ourselves and the world around us. Have you ever been around someone that just emanates negative or dense energy that makes you want to run away? This could be due to their dense pain bodies they hid within. Tolle describes how our dense pain bodies affect us and the world around us. Pain bodies are not just within individual people, either. They can be within bigger bodies of people, such as nations or countries. The pain bodies can renew themselves by feeding off of drama and thoughts. For more on pain bodies, I suggest you read the book as it has many different aspects.
The book goes in to discovering inner space and understanding your true purpose. In the chapter about inner space, he stated: “You can participate in the dance of creation and be active without attachment to outcome and without placing unreasonable demands upon the world: fulfill me, make me happy, make me feel safe, tell me who I am. The world cannot give you those things, and when you know longer have such expectations, all self-created suffering comes to an end.” After reading that, I understood that the only person that can give me those things are the person I hide deep within. The world and other people cannot fill those for me. I have to find happiness, safety, and my purpose inside myself.
The book is a great book to build on understanding yourself in a deeper level. It changed my whole perspective on life and where I can find the peace I desired to have.
5. Naked Marriage: Uncovering Who You Are and Who You Can Be Together- Corey Allen
This is one of my most recent reads. I read this book with my ex-fiancé in the states. We read it together as a way to bond and communicate. We were about to head into a marriage that I wasn’t sure I wanted to go into. The book helps identify some false notions of what it’s like to be married. I know, I had been married before I should know the false notions. And, I did know some of them.
“Naked Marriage encourages you to find yourself and fully reveal yourself, so you and your marriage can become fully alive.”- taken from the about the book section. This book really does that. Each chapter states a “myth” and a “truth” about marriage. Some of the myths were new to me. I believed the myth to be true. Once I understood the myth as false, my relationships started to change, current and future. Three of the myths that stuck out to me and why:
Myth: Happy couples do everything together
Truth: More separation creates desire for togetherness
A marriage needs to have two mature and independent people who come together to enjoy life. If you do everything with your partner the desire dissolves. The book gives examples like “remember when you first met how you wanted desired to see him and be with him?” This happens because you live separate lives so you miss that person. You can keep this feeling if you have different lives together. I looked at my life and found something interesting. My parents have been remarried to other people for many years now. They are happy and living a good life together. Do they do everything together? No, they don’t. My mom owns a bar and my step dad works from home. My dad goes to baseball games and other events with his male friends without my step mom frequently. They really have two different lives together. It works for them. It allows them space to be and grow.
Myth: My spouse is my responsibility
Truth: I am my responsibility
He starts the chapter off with a story about a man and a stranger. The stranger had a rope that he tied to his waste. He handed the rope to the man and asked him to hold it. The man agreed and the stranger jumped off the bridge. The man was forced to hold the rope or the stranger would die. He kept asking how he could help the stranger. The stranger just said keep doing that. The man could only do that for so long. (This is just a quick summary of the story because the story was a little long.) The stranger was a selfish and needy person by putting the man in that position. The man felt trapped. This often happens in relationships. I am guilty of this. I did this in every relationship I have had until recently. All the men felt was cornered and helpless. They wanted to help, but they couldn’t. This happens in friendships as well. We want to cling to the best friend or family member so much that we suffocate them causing them to make a “selfish” decision to leave.
Myth: I must work on my marriage
Truth: My marriage works on me
He isn’t saying if the marriage is failing just give up and divorce. What he is saying is when there is a problem in a marriage, it’s not the marriage, it’s YOU. Marriages can bring out the worse in us, so if we use the marriage as a way to better ourselves the marriage is more likely to grow. Before I got divorced, he and I “worked” on our marriage. We didn’t work on ourselves. We went to counseling. We had dinners together. We did almost everything we could except work on ourselves. Nothing changed. I began to understand this while reading this book. It took me until recently to fully comprehend this.
These were three major things that took me away from myself in the past, but once I acknowledged them as false my life changed. This book could be used in all aspects of life, including friends and family. We tend to think the same “myths” with others.
6. Does woman exist: John Baines
I saved this book for last because it was a very tough and difficult book for me to read. This book hit a nerve. It caused a major reaction that stopped me from finishing the book. I knew that the book had some great insights into becoming the woman I am today. So, I kept trying to read the book. After 3 tries, over two years, I finally finished the book completely. I have read it twice since then. Does woman exist, hits some major points of what society has told woman they should do and be. Topics include marriage and motherhood. It questions what we think femininity is, what being a woman means, and what happens inside a woman’s “world”.
The first two to three chapters, were the absolute hardest for me to comprehend and acknowledge. After some shifts, I made internally I was able to see what he was saying. This book is meant for everyone, and at the same time is it not meant for everyone. Not everyone will have the will power to see what the author is trying to convey. It is a beautiful book if you are in the right place spiritually to “get it”. I put it on the list because it has made a huge impact on the way I see children and my life as a woman now. It was a complete life changer.