What is Self-Love?

sandy beach with blue water and a brown mountain.

I have been writing about self-love a lot recently. It is one of my specialties. Learning what self-love is took me a long time. I have come to master it in so many ways. Even during a difficult time, I know what to do to give myself the love I need to make it through.

Since I am a self-love specialist and have been writing a lot about the subject, I should probably tell you what self-love is. 

Self Love can take many forms.

Self- love is deep or shallow. There are so many ways someone can show themselves self-love. It can range from saying “I love you” to working through past trauma. It varies and changes depending on what is going on in a person’s life. I am going to break it down into different parts. You may be really good at one part and struggle with the other ways. 

You need all forms of self-love to live a happy and fulfilled life. It is easy to neglect one way and focus on others. The way to get the most out of life is to practice self-love in every area of your life. 

Physical

This consists of doing things for yourself that you need physically.  You would be surprised how often people do not take care of themselves physically. This is a basic need that should be met no matter what. There are way more ways than the ones listed below. This list is a starting point.

  • Take a shower every day. If you need twice a day.
  • Clip your toenails and fingernails. (I am not kidding you on this one.)
  • Brush and floss your teeth.
  • Do your hair. Make sure it is nice. If you are a man, get it cut regularly. If you are a girl, switch up the hairstyle every now and then.
  • Eat and drink healthy. Sometimes this means giving up smoking or drinking alcohol. 
  • Wear nice, clean clothes. I don’t mean dress for a black tie event. I am talking about having nice clothes. No holes, no dirt, no sweat stains, the right size, etc. 
  • Shave. For girls shave your legs, armpits, and other areas you like to shave often. For men, if you have a beard keep it tight. Here in Costa Rica, plenty of men actually shave their armpits as well. Since it is so hot it keeps them from smelling bad. 
  • Drink fresh water. I am not talking about flavored water or water with something added to it. If you need to add electrolytes as I do here, that’s okay because it can keep you from being dehydrated. 
  • Exercise. Whether it is running around the yard with your dog or running a marathon get active. There are so many ways to stay fit. Take an aerial yoga class, swim, or dance. Do what you can do. 

Emotional

Emotions can be intense or dampened depending on the person. They can vary in intensity too. Some people experience a ton of emotions (this is me) and others simply ignore them. One way or another they need to be understood and overcame. This can be done a bunch of ways. 

  • Let yourself go through the emotion. Cry or Scream if needed
  • Write down your feelings and emotions.
  • Talk to a therapist or someone you trust about what you are feeling and going through.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (They have apps for this) I have used this in the past and it is super helpful with understanding feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
  • Take space to deal with what is going on inside. Do breathing exercises. 
  • Tell people how you feel.
  • Walk away from people who are negative or harmful to you.

Spiritual

This one is the hardest for me to get now that I am in Costa Rica. When in the states, I had a school in NYC that I attended. Here is either cost a boat ton of money or during my workday. For me, the church doesn’t help anymore. I don’t want to get into that. Here are some suggestions for you.

  • A spiritual school
  • Church
  • Yoga/Meditating
  • Self-Improvement seminars 
  • Breathing Exercises

Social

This one will vary depending on the person. If you are an extrovert you may need more of this than an introvert. As you begin to understand what you need, you will notice how much socialization you need and when. This can be friendships and intimate partners. 

  • Take your self out on a date. Go to the movies. Plan a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant. Give yourself the date you have always wanted.
  • Meet someone new or talk to someone new. Volunteer at a local food shelter and start chatting with the people there. Say “hi” to your neighbor that you never talk to. 
  • Try a new activity. Join a meetup for something you like to do. Join a book club or writing club. 
  • Move or visit another country. 
  • If you don’t hang out with a person of the same sex often, start finding friends of the same sex.
  • Do something for your partner, that they have been wanting for a long time.

Take Away

There are so many more ways you can create self-love for yourself under these different categories. You may struggle with one or two categories more than the others. How you give self-love depends on your personality types and what you like. For example, I am introvert, so if I have been very social for 3 days in a row, I may need some space for myself. I could get that space by watching a movie at home, watching the sunset alone, or getting my toenails done. 

Everyone can show themselves love and it’s the start of a better and more fulfilling life! Find your inner superwoman (or superman)!

**In a few weeks, I will be releasing a workbook to help with some of these areas. I am so excited to share it with you soon. So keep a look out for the release!

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