Boundaries are important to any aspect of life, especially self-love. We have to set boundaries to protect yourselves. We can show the most love to ourselves by saying “No!” to things that don’t suit us. It can be one of the hardest things to do when it comes to family and relationships. It is necessary because we need to do what is best for our well being.
Boundaries tell the other person or people when to give us our space. It also shows them what we allow in our lives and what we don’t. It is important that people understand what we want and don’t want in our lives. By setting boundaries, we are showing ourselves the respect and love we deserve. We can expect others to show us respect if we don’t give it to ourselves.
Respect is very important in any relationship especially with ourselves. Showing ourselves respect can raise our energy and improve our happiness. Giving ourselves respect will show others how they need to respect us. They will know what you do with yourself and that they can’t do the same with you.
So how do you respect yourself? Here are ways you can show yourself and other people respect!
Saying “No” is step one to showing yourself respect and other respect. No is the simplest way to tell someone you don’t like something or don’t want to do something. If you don’t like it when someone touches your arm a certain way, saying NO is simple, easy, and straight forward. If the person respects you, they will stop. If you don’t like when someone calls you a certain name and you say NO, they should understand that isn’t what you like. I don’t like it when people call me Ash. It isn’t my name so I politely tell people “No, it’s Ashley.”
You can also show yourself respect by saying “No, I can’t go out with you tonight”, if you’re an introvert and need space for yourself. Or “No, I can’t go out because I don’t have money.” In all these instances (and many more) you are showing yourself and the others that you won’t spend money when you don’t have it, you will put yourself first, and whatever else you don’t like or want. If they respect you, they will leave it alone.
Step two is walking away. If someone keeps doing something you don’t like and you have told them no many times, then it’s time to walk away. I know this may be hard especially if you really love and care about that person. Depending on what they did or said can depend on how long you stay away. I am all for giving second chances if the person’s actions weren’t severe.
As I have spoken about before, I had to walk away from my mom for a few months. She and I have grown stronger and we both understand each other’s boundaries. As for an ex-boyfriend, I had in the past I walked away from them and never looked back. He never learned that I had boundaries and he couldn’t cross them.
By walking away, you gain your power and self-love and they get a hard understanding of what you want. It doesn’t always change the other person because some people just don’t understand respect or boundaries. It is okay because you just walk away. If it is a serious boundary-crossing you may want to go to the police or local authorities to report them.
This is the most important step to making sure the first step is taken seriously. Integrity is where you follow through on what you say you are doing to do. If you say No to someone, but then go back on your word, the person won’t take you seriously. Some people are very persistent and push and push, that is why walking away is step two. You may need to take drastic actions.
Integrity is following through with your word. If you want people to take your word for the truth then do what you say. If I say “No, I can’t come I need alone time” (and they continue to push) but then you go with them, the person learns that you will change your mind after being pushed.
We want our boundaries to be respected so we need to do what we say. It is important in every area of our lives.