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Dogs are Family

A girl with a puppy on her lap.

I have had dogs in the past. My family and I always had a dog growing up. We had different dogs at different times. 

During my elementary years, the ones I remember the most were the black lab that ran like crazy. And a small, black mixed dog that pooped in the house all the time. 

During high school years, we had wired-haired fox terriers. They were not my favorite dogs. 

In college, I was a dog walker/sitter. I had some great dogs that I liked and some dogs that I wanted to never watch again. 

I love dogs. They are so much more fun than cats. They all have had a personality that varied from dog to dog. I couldn’t be around the dogs for more than a few days. I got annoyed with them for one reason or another.

I never felt a deep connection to dogs. 

I am not sure what the problem was. Even last year when I fostered the dog for a few weeks, I was ready to give him back after a week or so. The energy or something just felt off to me. My house felt strange and the dog seemed super needy. 

I felt the dogs weren’t mine. I didn’t feel connected to them, none of them. Even as a child. I was hesitant when I got Nina because I didn’t want to take her in and get tired of her like I did the other dogs I’ve had in my life.

When I got Nina…

The night I got Nina, I also had her brother. They were both incredibly different. Nina’s brother was full of fleas and was whining and crying the whole night. He was scratching and so uncomfortable. Nina didn’t have as many fleas, but she did have dehydration, a skin problem, and worms. Nina just snuggled up to Jonathan and slept the entire night. 

I just knew that Nina was the one. I wasn’t sure if I would get tired of her, however, I knew between the two puppies Nina was the one for me. 

She has been the light of my life. I can’t imagine my life without her. Nina makes me laugh and is so well behaved. I took the time to train her right. With her still being a puppy, she has some things to learn. However, she is like me in a lot of ways. 

We have the same energy. 

I feel connected to Nina because we have the same energy. She is full of life and knows when I need something. If I need space she calms down and just sits with me. If I need to get moving, she gets excited and we play fetch outside. 

She loves everyone and greets everyone with a smile. On the other hand, she does notice people’s energy and barks at people who she feels aren’t a good person. Seriously, there is a vet down the street that she barks at every single time she sees him. He is the only vet she does that too. She absolutely hates going to the vet, but she never barks at the vet. This one (who we have never used) she won’t even go near them. 

This is the same for me. I can feel people’s energies and don’t want to go around certain people because of how they “feel” to me. I don’t like the vet Nina doesn’t like because of his energy, so I understand why Nina doesn’t want to go near him either. 

A girl with a puppy on her lap.

I couldn’t imagine my life without her

She has made my life better in so many ways. I have learned to love myself and listen to my self more than I did before. She has helped me think positive and motivate me to get my work done. Part of the reason I left my steady teaching job was so I could be home with her. Nina is much better when I am here with her. Even if she is in her crate while I am working, I can let her out and give her attention more than I could before.

I want to be able to take her to this amazing dog training lady about an hour away. I am working towards getting a higher paid job so that I can afford to take her. She would love the place. There is a gym that could hone in on her monkey-like skills. 

Nina is like a child in the sense that she pushes me to be a better me. I am happy she is in my life. I want her to explore the world and see what she is capable of. She is family.

The little girl downstairs calls me “la mama de Nina” which translates to Nina’s mommy. I am Nina’s mom and she is my puppy daughter.

How has your puppy or animal changed your life? What have you learned from being a puppy mom?

Sometimes life hits you…

The last few weeks have been hard on me. I have had to deal with more medical issues. I recently went to San Jose to see a specialist about my kidney stones. He didn’t give me any answers to the pain I have been having. He says that the pain isn’t from my kidney stones. I should get a few more tests done and take a new medication. I should also see a gastroenterologist. Something is telling me I need to stop taking all medication for a while. I have been on multiple medications in the last 3 weeks. My body needs to rest from the different types of medication. Not only does my body need it, my mind needs it too. The medicine is affecting me on more than just a physical level.

I am going to do some essential oils and natural remedies like warm water with ginger and honey. I am also going to make sure I that I exercise daily. While Copito was here I slacked on the running and exercise. I need to get back into the groove of running and dancing. As much as I loved Copito I learned a lot. I needed him for the time I had him. Although, that time has come to an end because I am affected by animals energy in a way I never noticed. I know that I am affected by other people’s energy for prolonged periods of time. It is the same with animals.

I realized this about 2 weeks ago. Something was telling me that Copito wasn’t good for my energy and well being. I didn’t do what I needed to do about it. Same thing with my health. I knew that I didn’t need the medicine because I knew what my body needed. I just didn’t do it. I am still processing the reason why I didn’t listen to myself. I wouldn’t go back and changed it because I am learning something valuable.

Life has its ups and downs. It has its times of trials and tribulations. I am thankful for these times because they help me appreciate my life. They help me appreciate and see how far I have come. It’s not easy by any means to go through sickness and stress. I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone through all the hard times I have had. I am not out of the woods yet. I have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of things to do to get to the place I want to be. I can get there. I have been there. I know exactly how to do it. I will do it. And I am doing it.

WHAT A LIFE!!

Life is beautiful! Life has been taking me on a journey of a lifetime. I am happy and excited to be where I am. It is just too funny. The things that life throws at you to learn about yourself is amazing.

IMG_2795First, I got my tattoo finished. I decided against color. Something is telling me that you don’t need to be full of bright colors to be beautiful. Sometimes black and white is amazing and beautiful all on its own. I am in love with the finished product and I won’t be adding color. Sometimes seeing things in black and white can change your perspective in a way that seeing color cannot. I am still beautiful and amazing even if there are no bright colors.

Second, I am fostering a dog. His name is Copito. He is amazing. He is full of life and love. He has shown me so many things in the last 3 weeks. I know he will not be in my life forever. I know that he has a purpose and family waiting for him out there somewhere. I do know that what he and I are experiencing is something that I will carry with me forever. He has changed my life. I am excited to see where this adventure with him takes us.

Third, I made a trip to the doctors again. My toenail fell off a few weeks ago. I went to see why. It turns out that it has a fungus or something. The medicine to treat it is very hard on your liver so I had to get blood tests done to make sure my liver is well. The blood tests came back elevated so I went to get an ultrasound. My liver is fine, which is great news. On the other hand, I have kidney stones. They are a bit too big to pass on their own. I need to see a specialist to get treatment to make them smaller.

Fourth, I am learning so much about life. I have been going on adventures with an intern at work. She is from France. She has been at my school for 3 months working on a project for her program in France. She and I have become good friends in this short time. We have gone on many adventures together. We took a trip to Rio Celeste, Arenal, and Monteverde. We have had conversations that have helped me grow and see life differently. It’s been an amazing experience. She goes back to France tomorrow. So the last few days we have just been having fun and really enjoying life. It has been a wonderful time.

She and I have been talking about life and the things that I do in my life. It has been great to share the ups and downs of life with her. Yesterday, we were talking about the guy that I saw a few months back. She knows him as well so it makes it easier for us to talk about it. He has been ignoring a lot of my questions recently. I had explained to her why I thought that was happening and what that meant for me.

After work yesterday, he started messaging me about his life. Which he has done in a while. He was telling me about how he was scared about what could happen with his job and his family moving here. I could tell he was scared. I could tell he needed support. He just didn’t know how. Normally, I can send him a funny video or something to make him smile for him to be okay. I did this. His response was “I cannot pretend that everything is okay, because it is not okay.” He may not know it, yet that is a huge step for him to admit. This makes me happy.

I know that I have made mistakes with my relationship with him. I did things that did not help either of us. There were consequences for those things. I am now seeing those and becoming conscious of them. I am happy that I have this man in my life. He is a great friend in many ways. I am glad that he is a mirror for me to see the defects within me that I need to overcome. I have become aware of many defects I never knew existed in the last few months from my relationship with him. It is an amazing feeling when you can see these amazing things. As hard as it is to acknowledge and see it is beautiful. It is powerful. It is energy and life.

What I Asked For.

Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes things are thrown at you to knock you down. You have to get back up and keep fighting. You have to stand up for yourself and what you believe.

This week was a good week. A hard week as well. Somethings happened at worked that required me to stand up for myself. I had to have a meeting with some parents because of an incident that happened a few weeks ago. It was intense. Emotions were flying. I tried to keep myself. Unfortunately, I didn’t. I responded to a question with an attitude and a not the best words. I own that. I know what and why I did that so I am prepared for next time. The whole situation was intense. I am glad it happened because I learned a lot about myself and other people.

One thing, I realized during the week is that the universe gave me what I asked for. I wanted a companion. Someone who could be there when I got home. Someone who didn’t say anything. Someone who is just there. I am good being alone. I like being alone. I learn a lot being with myself. I appreciate my time alone more than anything in the world. It’s just nice having someone there sometimes.

This week, I got a dog to foster. His name is Copito. He is great. A very good and patient dog. The meeting at work happened on Wednesday. It was intense. I was ready to come home and just relax. I came home and Copito was so happy to see me. I started crying with joy and appreciation. He put a smile on my face. I had a bit of anger. I didn’t want to hold on to that so I screamed in my pillow until it was gone. Copito came over to me and was trying to comfort me. It was beautiful.

It took me a couple days to realize that he is what I had been asking for. He is helping me in ways I never thought. I had been trying to foster a dog since December. It hasn’t worked out until now. I know that there is something to learn from the experiences I am going through.

I would love to keep this dog forever. I would love to give him a forever home. I just know that I am not that for him. I love this dog so much. He is a blessing. I see him and I smile. He has somethings about him that drive me crazy. I still love and appreciate him with all my heart. It will be hard to let him go. He will be in my life until it’s time for the next adventure. Whenever that is supposed to be. For now, I will just appreciate the time I have with him. I will learn all I can so I can grow into a better me.

Life gives you what you need. It just might not look the way you wanted it too. Have patience and love. It works out.