Category: Personal Development

SELF-LOVE is the way to find the universe because the universe is within you

sunset on the beach. two chairs facing the beach.

The Stray: The Movie

I was watching a movie called “The Stray” on Netflix this evening. The movie is a true story. It’s about a stray dog that found the Davis Family. The Davis Family is a family of five, three kids and two parents. They had some struggles during their time in California. The boy had trouble with bullies. The parent’s marriage was on the edge. The dad worked day and night. This stray dog, named Pluto, came into their lives one random day. 

He was there to protect them in many ways. He helped the little boy with his bullying. The youngest of the family got lost in town, Pluto found her. Which led to them moving to Colorado, where they lead a different life. 

The father no longer worked day and night, but the family still struggled. The boy was angry with his dad for not being there for him in California. 

The father, boy, two friends, and Pluto went on a camping trip where they got struck by lightning. Pluto took the brunt of the power from the strike. The dad had trouble moving his limbs and blood from his ears and the boys were just knocked out for a short time. Pluto didn’t make it.

Pluto was a lifesaver.

The universe knows best. 

I am a strong believer the universe knows what’s best. As I watched the movie, I thought the dog came into their lives for a reason. I realized in the end, it was to protect the family from losing a father. Without Pluto taking the majority of the force, the father would not have survived and the boys would have been stuck in the wilderness alone. 

Back in 1991, cell phones were not prevalent or possibly non-existent. I couldn’t imagine what would have happened to the boys. 

The universe knew something was going to happen that night. The family debated whether Pluto should go or stay home. He went. And for a good reason that no one knew about. 

This happens to us all.

When we trust in the universe, it gives us what we need, in the moment, to grow and be our better selves. I can show you many examples in my life where the universe made things happen. If you told me about your life, I could tell you exactly where the universe was and why it was there. 

Seriously…

I am not kidding…

Things happen for a reason

Nina came into my life and changed it completely. I wouldn’t have quit my job at Educarte if it wasn’t for her. She came into my life and all I wanted to do was make sure she had the best. That meant being home more often to play with her and love on her. 

Not only do I support her, but she also supports me. She reminds me to love myself. Nina shows me the times I need space or the times I need exercise. Nina is an eye-opener for me. I know that I am capable of many things.

Nina showing up on my doorstep. The electricity bill was outrageous so I had to move. Quitting my job to move to Costa Rica. Starting this blog. 

All of it happened for a reason. 

This blog started off as a no big deal, share my adventures with my family type deal. I never thought weidergabe would be what it is today. It’s not a huge success and it’s not making me any money, but it does have readers from all over the world. Weidergabe has inspired people to live their best life. To follow their dreams and to make a difference in the world. 

I never would have imagined two years ago weidergabe being where it is today. I have visions and ideas to take this blog someplace amazing. 

GO after your dreams!

The universe has your back. It knows what you need to listen to your heart. Find yourself and dig deep within to be present to what the universe wants for you.

No dreams are too big. No dreams are too small. It is possible even if you have no money or you have no idea what you’re doing. Find a way and make it happen. 

Let the big things come into your life even if they seem scary. Embrace the little things and remember they are there for you from the universe. 

SELF-LOVE is the way to find the universe because the universe is within you.

The Revolving Boyfriend

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. She lives in Peru and is having a hard time because everyone is in love and she is “alone”. She has a fear that she will never find that one person. I understand her fear because it is something that has come across my mind many times. 

She and I are both in our 30s. Most people we know are married and have a family already. Everywhere you look there are people, movies, and commercials telling you that you need to fulfill certain things to be considered successful in life. 

Over the last few years, I have come to terms with not getting married or finding that perfect person that I would spend my life with. It wasn’t easy to do because of so many people saying “you need kids, you need to be married, and you need a family of your own.” 

I mean there are coaches that help you find the love of your life that make millions of dollars finding people that special someone. For me, I want to help people find themselves and be whatever they are supposed to be. I think the world would be a better place if we focused on finding self-love instead of finding someone to love us. 

The Revolving Boyfriends

As I was figuring out myself, I coined the term “the revolving boyfriends”. It is when your life’s purpose is to better society and making a difference one boyfriend at a time. As women, we are life. We grow and create new life within our bodies to have babies. Why can’t we change the world by creating a different kind of life within our womb? 

Men don’t have a womb to create life, as women can. We create life then inspire the change through the men. So, if I am stuck with one man my entire life how can I make an impact on society like I am supposed to? your probably thinking of having guy friends, which is possible. But… sometimes you don’t get the intimacy you need by being “just friends”. So this brings me to… Well, revolving boyfriends!

A revolving boyfriend could be in my life (or yours) for a short time or a long time. It depends on what you and the man need to learn from the relationship. If you learn quickly then it may be a short relationship. It could be longer if there is deeper work to be done. 

It doesn’t mean you are less worthy

Just because you have revolving boyfriends doesn’t mean that you less of a woman. It doesn’t mean you are not special or worthy of love. It means you have a higher power that will change the world and make a difference in the lives of every man (or woman) you date. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough or stable enough for that one love. It means you are worth more than just ONE LOVE! You have so much love you can spread it out and make a bigger impact on the world.

It doesn’t mean you are meant to fix them. We aren’t here to fix men (or women), we are here to grow more aware and conscious within ourselves. We are here to experience life in a new way. A way that isn’t told to us by society or commercials.

The world may say that you need that perfect man to be whole. I promise you there are more ways to feel whole than having the perfect man, marriage, or baby. Personally, I know this is true because I feel whole with or without a man. I live my best life and I live it with integrity, faith, and love. You can feel whole within yourself by being your real self. Feeling whole can come from volunteering or learning to love unconditionally. It can come from loving yourself so much that you follow your dreams even if they aren’t what society tells you is correct.

To change the world, we need to change the way we see the world.

The world is broken. It is full of greed, hate, fear, and anger. That is why we have so many wars and devastation. If you want to see the world be full of faith, love, and integrity, then we need to change the way we live it. 

This starts with seeing marriage, babies, and ourselves differently. That is why I am creating content that focuses on self-love and testing the boundaries with the way I live. 

We will all suffer if we chase after things that are not meant for us. I am not meant for getting married or having a child. I am meant for something BIGGER and more GRAND

It is okay if no one understands this except you. There are others out there like me and my friend that meant for the life of revolving boyfriends and manifesting a new way of living. 

Don’t be afraid… EMBRACE IT!

The Secret to Loving Yourself

I’ve been talking about loving yourself for a while now. It IS what weidergabe is about.  So, you probably wondering how to do that. While your relationship with yourself is the most important connection in your life, it’s easy to forget about nurturing it.

However, self-love and compassion are too important to neglect because they shape your experiences and relationships with others.

You can do this in a loving and caring way. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Changing the Way You Think about Yourself

Maybe you’re hard on yourself or you’re so busy with external obligations that you rarely consider your personal priorities. Look within yourself to find the inner superwoman (or superman) within you!

These strategies will help you to think more highly of yourself:

  1. Accept yourself. Know that you are worthy of love and respect just the way you are this moment. Embrace yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.

  2. Define your inner purpose. Invent your own definition of success. Ask yourself what a meaningful life means to you, even if that answer changes over time.

  3. Watch how you talk to yourself. How do you speak to yourself? Choose words that are encouraging and uplifting. Use your internal dialogue to build your confidence and manage your emotions.

  4. Forgive. Let go of the past so that you can move on. Learn from your mistakes. Take time to allow yourself to do something different in the future.  We wouldn’t be able to move forward without forgiving. And REMEMBER, forgiveness is for you, and only you.
  5. Avoid comparisons. Social media can make this hard. I know I struggle with it regularly. Compete with yourself. Try to do better than you did yesterday. You’ll accomplish more if you dare to be yourself.
  6. Think positive. Looking on the bright side and being able to laugh at yourself makes you even more loveable. It also helps you to manage stress and deal with difficult circumstances.

Changing the Way You Treat Yourself

Do your actions match your beliefs? You might say you love yourself, but your actions could be sending a different message.

Try these techniques to treat yourself kindlier:

  1. Practice self-care. Develop habits that keep your mind and body fit and strong. Go to bed early and exercise each day. Eat a balanced diet and watch your weight.
  2. Pick friends wisely. Surround yourself with family and friends who encourage and support you. Cultivate close relationships with others who share your goals. Engage in deep conversations where you can share your feelings and receive validation.
  3. Pursue your passions. Identify the activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Block out time each day for something you love, whether it’s a task related to your job or something you do in your leisure time.
  4. Set goals. Give yourself something to strive for. Working towards realistic and challenging goals builds your confidence as you add to your achievements.
  5. Maintain boundaries. Know your limits so you can define what behavior you consider acceptable. That may include physical boundaries such as needing your own space and psychological boundaries such as being entitled to your own feelings and opinions.

Advocate for yourself. Once you understand your needs, you can communicate them to others. You’ll grow more skillful as you practice being direct and tactful in letting someone know if they cross your boundaries.

Making Decisions: Right or Wrong or Perfect?

As you all know I quit my steady income-producing job at the local school a few weeks ago. I switched to working online so that I could have a more flexible schedule. I am happy that I made the decision because I have freedom for myself. I wrote about it in a past article you can read here

I have been sad about the change. There are things I miss about working in a school. The first few weeks of school are so fun. Getting to know the students, decorating the classroom, meeting new teachers, and high energy of the beginning of school will all be missed. Have you ever made a decision that you felt sad about? 

There is a difference between regret and feeling sad. 

Feelings of regret and second-guessing yourself are a different feeling than feeling sad. When you regret something, you are sorry you made the choice you made. I do not feel sorry for making the choice. I am happy that I made the choice. My life is in my control now. 

Sometimes when we make a life-changing decision, we lose things that we love to do. I loved decorating my classroom and seeing my students faces on the first day of school. I don’t regret my decision at all. However, I am mourning the loss of something I love to do. I feel sad that I won’t be able to do that this year. 

So how do you know you made the right decision if you are feeling down?

Things start falling in place. 

You start attracting things in your life that are part of your higher plan. People are asking you to be apart of their lives. People who you never thought would be there for you are. You start learning about yourself in ways you never knew. 

For me, I have received some invitations to jobs or events that I would have turned down in the past for fear or not enough time. I am making plans that I’ve always wanted to make. I am able to attend my sister’s wedding in the future and hopefully see my dad’s new house and my mom’s new puppy. 

Change can bring struggle.

Sometimes it may not feel all happy and cheerful because you are finding new things about yourself that you didn’t know. With change comes the unknown. In that unknown, new things come up that you may have to deal with.

This change has made me realize how much of an issue I have with money.  I am not talking about debt or gambling or anything like that. I realize I don’t feel like I deserve to have money. I have fears that money will turn me into a stuck up person that doesn’t care about others issues. I don’t want to become the person that only wants the next best thing and forgets about volunteering and giving back.

As I was growing up, I learned things about money because of how my parents are with money. The things I learned were money is no good. Money makes people lie and causes unneeded stress and anxiety. Which is true to a certain extent. There are people where this happens. Having a lot of money (or having no money) causes them to be a different person.  

Both are perfect

The universe wants us to stay true to our life paths. If we do what we need to get to the next level or get one step closer with our plan, the universe provides. It provides friends, family, and situations that we need to stay positive and strong. It also provides the fear and struggles to help us find our true self. We have to let go of what we think we are to really live who we really are. That is part of living your best life. 

There is always the good and the ugly to help us see the truth. They are both needed and perfect. Remember, life is good. Life is beautiful in all its guts and glory. Let it flow and breathe. Relax into the unknown. Let the unknown drive you to find the real you. I promise the real you is more beautiful and amazing than you could ever imagine. 

Superwoman (or superman) is extraordinary. Be Superwoman (or superman) and manifest your best life!

Take Care of Yourself First

Don’t be afraid of what could happen if you lose someone or quit a job. If you need to do something to better your health in any way do it without hesitation. You will thank yourself for it later. I promise. 

Staying in a situation you know is unhealthy for you will only make your life harder. It will keep you from living your best life. Change is good. Even if you are afraid to death that you won’t be able to pay your bills or have to move in with your parents, it is okay. The universe will reward you for taking the leap and protecting yourself. 

I have left situations that I thought I would never be able to live after I did it. The universe rewarded me with something better. I gained valuable knowledge that made me a much better person. It may not be better forever because we do change and shift as we learn and grow. As we shift and grow, different obstacles and situations appear to help us see some things more clearly.

There are signs all around you telling you what you need to do.

These signs can come in the form of a dream or anxiety. Dreams can tell us a lot about what our subconscious is trying to tell us. Recently, I have been having dreams about my ex-fiance. I thought it was trying to tell me that I made a mistake. In the end, I realized it was telling me I was doing the same thing. I was holding on to fear. The same fear I had right before I left him, I am dealing with now. 

Anxiety can keep us awake at night. We can sleep all day and be unmotivated to do the things we love to do when we are anxious. Look at those signs. Look at when we feel that way, it can tell you want you to need to do. Fighting it will only make it worse. Just let it be and move forward. Listen to it. 

It isn’t easy making a change. We think we need something because if we don’t have it we can’t live. But what if we let go of that fear and anxiety and we LIVE better than we did before?

Never second guess yourself.

I have no doubts in my life because I don’t second guess myself. When my life needs something I go after it with full force and I learn everything I can from it. Fighting through the thoughts and manifesting a new way of living. 

When we second guess ourselves, we begin to lose self-love. We suffer from not trusting ourselves. You trusted yourself to make the decision in the first place, whatever it was, know that it was meant for you or you wouldn’t have done it. You know deep inside what you need. Believe in yourself ALWAYS!

If you made a decision and it turned out to be a not so good one, learn from it. Then, get in touch with your heart and soul to manifest a better one. There is never a wrong answer, we can always learn from it. I find learning from negative situations is the best way to live. It allows you to still love yourself and never creates distrust within yourself.

It’s all about self-love

It really is all about self-love. Making sure that you come first and you love yourself no matter what happens. The universe will reward you for being courageous and strong. Even if you feel weak or you feel like you failed, just know that change is good. It can make you or break you. You can love yourself and say “I did my best. I did something scary and no matter what happens, I will always have myself.” Or you can say “This life is shit. I failed and I can never have the life I want. I give up.” 

One will create self-pity. That’s not a happy way to live. I have been there. I have felt so sorry for myself and my life that I didn’t take responsibility for it. I am the only one responsible for my life. Yes, unexpected things happen that we cannot control. Some may grow up in a minority situation that makes it that much harder for us to achieve our goals. Not everyone has the same opportunities because of skin color, social class, or sex. 

It is easier for a white person than it is for a person of color. Men have more rights and opportunities than women. And People from the upper class have more resources. It does matter. And the only thing we can do is fight for the same rights. There is no reason to feel pity for ourselves for not having the same rights as others.

Tell yourself that you are doing the best you can. You will make a difference in this life. It may take a lot of work and determination. It may not be easy and you will run into problems. Keep pushing forward because the work you do now will create a path for those in the future. LOVE YOURSELF WITH ALL YOUR SOUL!

Change starts with you.

When you make a brave change it does affect others. Others will be inspired by you and want to do the same. You will change the world one person at a time by loving yourself. 

I can tell you from experience you change more people’s lives with courage than you do with self-pity. Courage makes the world a better place. It creates a ripple that will change the course of history in the lives of people around you.

I don’t have many followers and I am not the best writer. I am inspiring people with my writing and my life. Many friends have told me how much I’ve changed their lives. You can do it too. Self-love is for you and the world. 

Live your BEST LIFE.

What I learned from the movie A Wrinkle in Time

Life is tough. It is extremely difficult sometimes. The universe is full of darkness. The things that cause us pain, suffering, and deceit. The darkness is where wars are started. Darkness tears people part and kills the dreams and light we have inside. 

Even when life is beautiful and magnificent, it is hard to be with sometimes. The darkness overrides the joy and happiness we have inside. I know this may seem depressing and negative. It is the truth. 

I told you I started volunteering for a non-profit that teaches English to refugees. I knew about the war between the Israelis and the Palestinians. I have known about that for a while. A dear friend named Becky showed me about that war along time ago. She was passionate about it and wanted to help show the world that the Palestinians needed their land and their freedom. I hope she is still passionate about it today. 

On Netflix, I was watching documentaries about the war in Syria. I wanted to understand in more depth what my student would and is currently facing. It was very hard to watch. The stuff that is happening over there in Syria and Gaza is terrifying, horrific, and maddening. 

So you are all probably wondering why I bring this negativity to such a positive blog and how it has to do with the movie, A Wrinkle in Time.

Well, keep reading.

Why do we have to be in Pain?

We will be in pain until we become one with the universe and ourselves. When we want to be someone we aren’t that creates a distance within us causing hurt. We are all put on this universe for something bigger. Something GRAND! 

We have facebook, Instagram, snap chat, and so many other social media sites that don’t give us the truth. You see the “happy” side to everyone. You don’t see the pain, sadness, or struggle they really deal with. Who wants to see the pain in others? 

I like to see the pain others go through because it shows me what is real. When I write, I tell you the happy parts and I also try to convey the sadness and struggle within me. That is being real. No one’s life is as perfect as it is on social media. 

Many people tell me I want an amazing boyfriend like yours. And I have to tell them he isn’t perfect. He actually isn’t my boyfriend. He and I are friends who have struggles and pain that keep our relationship the way it is. It is painful being with him sometimes. He isn’t perfect and I promise you all the people who seem to have the “perfect” relationship are lying. They struggle and they go through pain as you do.

We go through pain to show us the way to become one with the universe, to find ourselves. It’s like polarity, you can’t have one without the other. If there wasn’t darkness we wouldn’t know what light was. 

Darkness and the IT

In the movie, A Wrinkle in Time, the IT travels through the darkness. It is faster than light and travels everywhere. It affects everywhere in the universe. Darkness controls all of us. It takes away our happiness and hope. Jealousy and envy are what takes the place of happiness. That is where the pain comes from.

When we feel pain it’s because we are wanting to be something we aren’t. We think that having the perfect and having that next thing is what creates happiness. It is not true. People driven by darkness are people who fight and start wars because we want to OWN the land or have the almighty POWER! 

The darkness thinks power is the almighty. Pain, suffering, hate, and envy are darkness. As long as we feel that, we can’t have light. If we are jealous because that person has the perfect relationship, that is what will keep us from having the relationship we are meant to have. The darkness feeds on pain and envy. 

The dark will change its face many times. 

It will create a face in someone or something else to keep you from living your best life. It can stop you from manifesting the most magnificent and loving life. In the movie, the IT or darkness creates a place that is ever-changing. It makes you think you are hungry to bring you in. 

The dark will make you think that being skinny or rich is the only way to happiness. It will make you think that having a child or the perfect relationship is the key to life. When in reality that may not be the life for you. It can be something the darkness uses to distract you from your real purpose in life. 

Wars and hate are all because people let in the darkness. They want a certain life that was created based on what happened when we were children. If you don’t get love as a child you will create ways to fill that void. The darkness finds those flaws and turns them against us to gain power.

Our flaws can help us

All those flaws we have inside are not made to stop us. They are made to grow us. The darkness will use those negative aspects we think we have against us. If we embrace and LOVE our FLAWS, the darkness won’t have anything left to throw at us. The darkness will run out of the dark. 

Those flaws become our light. Our faults are our strengths. Use them against the dark to stay in the light. Our faults are BEAUTIFUL!

We can fight and bring back HOPE

We can fight the darkness by remembering that everyone has their own demons. Everyone has something inside that keeps them struggling and fighting. You may never see the demons because we do everything we can to hide it. 

Some people just want love. Others want to feel worthy and needed. We want to make a difference in this world. We all want something. And the things is… We ALL have that within us. We have the power to live a happy and fulfilling life. We have to fight the darkness and stay in the light. 

LOVE is the answer

Love is the key to light. Love is light. When we love ourselves in every way, we don’t allow the darkness to take from us what we know we deserve. We fight for our true happiness. We find hope and love in the smallest of things like our flaws. 

I don’t like certain aspects of myself. I am learning to love them little by little. I can be emotional. I can be pushy. I can be selfish. I can be lazy. I can feel worthless. I see my faults and I choose to love my faults. They are what makes me, ME. They are what got me to where I am today, good and bad. 

The more self-love I attain the more love I can give the world. The more love I can give the world the more light there is. If there is light people can find the way through the darkness. The way through the darkness is with LOVE. FIRST, love for yourself. Then, Love for others. 

WE are WARRIORS! Become a warrior of Earth! Bring light into this dark world any way you can. Bring love and happiness to everyone around you. SMILE! Say Hi to a stranger. Send a note to someone you love. Let someone you know you are there for them. What love you feel, let it out. The light wants to shine.

“All those who are willing to face the darkness… bring the best of themselves to the light… for the WORLD!”- A Wrinkle in Time

We all have Fears

Everyone has fears, small or big. They affect many areas of our lives whether we are aware of it or not. They stop us from having the things we want or they give us more than we could ever need. Having more than we could imagine can cause greed or egotistical issues. Fear can keep us from happiness. Fear can be paralyzing or a propeller forward.  Fear can help us find what makes us happy if we work through it.

Where do Fears start?

They start in the past. Our fears are from childhood situations that we don’t want to happen or have shaped our thinking. When something happens in our past we then have thoughts about it. We create a story that we carry with us forever. It creates what happens to us in the future. It gives us what we love and what we hate. 

How do we conquer our fears?

I was recently watching a TV series called “Scorpion”. They had this episode where they were exposed to seed dust that caused them to live their worst fears. They were hallucinating theirs from the past. The most intelligent psychiatrist had a solution to get this to become conscious again.  

“So let’s be logical. All fear has a genesis in history. If we go back and undo that moment then their darkest fears will cease to exist.”

This can be true. I know it has worked for me in the past and even now. If I work through the past and re-tell the story differently, my fears go away. We can all do this. We can all change the story from our past. It is what will help you get past some of your fears. 

Does this work for all fears?

Not all fears are based on the past. So no, it doesn’t work for all fears. The fear of heights for me isn’t based on an issue from the past. The way I get through this type of fear is to just do it. I went skydiving even though heights scares the hell out of me. 

If you have fear of water, germs, or heights you can just work through them by doing them. Go swimming in the ocean, shake someone’s hands, or go skydiving. Of course, be careful and make sure that you are safe. You don’t want to go swimming in the ocean if it is unsafe. 

These fears can be overcome little by little. I have come to conquer my fears over the years. Like surfing, I told myself I would never go surfing because of my fear of ocean waves drowning me. I have gone surfing twice. Once on my own without a trainer. 

Fears can help up grow

When we are fearful, we can learn what stops us. We can work through the fear and become freer. Being free from our fears can help us live the life we want. We can learn what our life’s purpose is when we conquer our fears. 

Don’t let fears stop you. Overcome them and live your best life. Find the part in your past that is shaping the way you think and live. See where you could be freer. It is possible to LIVE YOU BEST LIFE! 

What are your fears? What is stopping you from doing what you really want? What can you do about it? Live life as superwoman (or superman) and find your purpose.

Magical Things Happen When…

Manifest Your Life

As I begin to make changes in my life, ideas and situations come to me that I need. I am letting life manifest itself as I move into a different point in my life. I find that if I manifest while I am hustling magical things happen.

I have been working hard on changing jobs so that I can have more flexibility with my time. I have been worried about how I will make ends meet for the first few months during the transition. In my mind, I know that I am worth the life I want, so I went within and found myself in a place of tranquility and calm. This allowed a way for me to make it happen. It’s not long term answer, but it is a solution for the time being. It gives me an extra few months to get things up and running.

Also, I was able to come up with some ideas for the blog. I don’t know how that will take a form or how I will make it happen. However, I am positive when the time is right the new ideas will launch and achieve amazing results.  

Be Positive

When creating the life you want or making a change that is scary the best way to keep you going is to be positive. I know it is hard to do when times are tough or when you are faced with the unknown. I struggle with it all the time. I do have friends, family, and the blog to remind me that everything will be okay. 

If you don’t have someone in your life that doesn’t help you stay positive, you can always read inspirational stories like the ones in my blog or find read an autobiography from your favorite person. There are so many inspirational people out there including me that could help you through a tough patch. 

Listen to Your Heart

Get quiet, feel your heart, and listen. Your heart will tell you what’s meant for you. It doesn’t happen when your mind is full of chatter. Calm and quiet your thoughts so you can listen and feel your heart. 

It is easier to make life changes and manifest them when you know what your heart is saying and feeling. There are things that I want and I know what is important when I feel my heart. I may have to forgo those things because my heart knows it isn’t time for that yet. Events and situations happen at the right time. Even if something bad happens there is a reason for it. They happen to give us a push to make a change whether internal or external. 

Life is Beautiful

Life is beautiful in every situation. It may seem it is difficult or depressing or downright horrible, I guarantee there is something to be grateful for. Whether is a sunset or a beautiful rainbow during the rain, there is always something to find. 

I live in paradise, but life isn’t always sunshine and roses (not literally). I struggle and go through difficult times more often than I’d like to admit. When those times happen I find something little to be grateful for. The smile of the person walking past me or Nina’s excitement when I get home are things I am grateful for always. Sometimes we have to make our own beauty. We can do that by cooking ourselves and an amazing meal, or painting a picture, or take a bath. There are so many ways we can create beauty and gratefulness.

I challenge you… 

Find something to be grateful for for the next two weeks. Write it down and post in on the fridge (or place you will see it often). Find beauty somewhere in your life. Be aware of your surroundings and find something you find beautiful. Write about it or take a picture and share it with a friend. Whatever it is you can be grateful and find the beauty in every situation.

What is it you need?

Around this time last year, I wrote my self a letter. I gave myself love by telling myself things I used to look to others to tell me. Being in Costa Rica has shown me how to love myself even more. It is such a wonderful feeling to be able to tell yourself exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it. It is even more amazing when you do what you need for yourself when you need it. It’s self-love!

What is it that you need to hear?

I challenge you to write a letter to yourself. In the letter, tell yourself what you need to hear. Give yourself all the love that you crave from other people. Make it as short or as long as you need. Post it in your house and read it every day when you wake up. Really EMBRACE and BELIEVE what you write. Dig deep inside and write what you really feel. 

What is it that you need to do? 

I challenge you to do what you need to do. Do you need to change your job? Do you need to go on a date with yourself? Do you need to start the book you have always wanted to write? Do you need to take your dream trip to Europe or Thailand? Maybe, it is deep cleaning your house. (I needed that so I did it today) Whatever it is, BIG or SMALL, DO IT! Take some time to meditate and dig deep within your soul to see what you truly need to do. 

It will give you confidence!

Doing those two things will give you the boost of confidence you might need. I do them on a regular basis. I may not write a letter to myself every day, but I do tell myself what I need to hear. It boosts my confidence and enables me to be less attached to people’s words of encouragement. Don’t get me wrong, there are times we need encouragement from other people. Last week, I needed to hear from my mom something I had been struggling with. I had written about it and gave myself love. 

Doing what you need gives you peace of mind. It helps you relax. Every few months, I need to deep clean and organize my house so that my thoughts and outer world are consistent. I am now feeling order around me. I started two new jobs teaching online to make some extra money to pay off bills and create savings. 

Share the Love!

After you are full of self-love, share it. There are so many different ways to share the love. You can volunteer in your community. Recently, I volunteered for a local castration event for Dogs and Cats in the area. It was something new and it was so rewarding. I was able to share my inner love with the animals recovering from surgery. 

You can have a bonfire or get together with some close friends (or new friends). You can write a letter to someone who needs uplifting. Maybe a single mom struggling at the local shelter or even for the entire shelter. You can send a care package to military people overseas. 

Just give back the love you now have within! It will come back to you double!

What is Self-Love?

sandy beach with blue water and a brown mountain.

I have been writing about self-love a lot recently. It is one of my specialties. Learning what self-love is took me a long time. I have come to master it in so many ways. Even during a difficult time, I know what to do to give myself the love I need to make it through.

Since I am a self-love specialist and have been writing a lot about the subject, I should probably tell you what self-love is. 

Self Love can take many forms.

Self- love is deep or shallow. There are so many ways someone can show themselves self-love. It can range from saying “I love you” to working through past trauma. It varies and changes depending on what is going on in a person’s life. I am going to break it down into different parts. You may be really good at one part and struggle with the other ways. 

You need all forms of self-love to live a happy and fulfilled life. It is easy to neglect one way and focus on others. The way to get the most out of life is to practice self-love in every area of your life. 

Physical

This consists of doing things for yourself that you need physically.  You would be surprised how often people do not take care of themselves physically. This is a basic need that should be met no matter what. There are way more ways than the ones listed below. This list is a starting point.

  • Take a shower every day. If you need twice a day.
  • Clip your toenails and fingernails. (I am not kidding you on this one.)
  • Brush and floss your teeth.
  • Do your hair. Make sure it is nice. If you are a man, get it cut regularly. If you are a girl, switch up the hairstyle every now and then.
  • Eat and drink healthy. Sometimes this means giving up smoking or drinking alcohol. 
  • Wear nice, clean clothes. I don’t mean dress for a black tie event. I am talking about having nice clothes. No holes, no dirt, no sweat stains, the right size, etc. 
  • Shave. For girls shave your legs, armpits, and other areas you like to shave often. For men, if you have a beard keep it tight. Here in Costa Rica, plenty of men actually shave their armpits as well. Since it is so hot it keeps them from smelling bad. 
  • Drink fresh water. I am not talking about flavored water or water with something added to it. If you need to add electrolytes as I do here, that’s okay because it can keep you from being dehydrated. 
  • Exercise. Whether it is running around the yard with your dog or running a marathon get active. There are so many ways to stay fit. Take an aerial yoga class, swim, or dance. Do what you can do. 

Emotional

Emotions can be intense or dampened depending on the person. They can vary in intensity too. Some people experience a ton of emotions (this is me) and others simply ignore them. One way or another they need to be understood and overcame. This can be done a bunch of ways. 

  • Let yourself go through the emotion. Cry or Scream if needed
  • Write down your feelings and emotions.
  • Talk to a therapist or someone you trust about what you are feeling and going through.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (They have apps for this) I have used this in the past and it is super helpful with understanding feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
  • Take space to deal with what is going on inside. Do breathing exercises. 
  • Tell people how you feel.
  • Walk away from people who are negative or harmful to you.

Spiritual

This one is the hardest for me to get now that I am in Costa Rica. When in the states, I had a school in NYC that I attended. Here is either cost a boat ton of money or during my workday. For me, the church doesn’t help anymore. I don’t want to get into that. Here are some suggestions for you.

  • A spiritual school
  • Church
  • Yoga/Meditating
  • Self-Improvement seminars 
  • Breathing Exercises

Social

This one will vary depending on the person. If you are an extrovert you may need more of this than an introvert. As you begin to understand what you need, you will notice how much socialization you need and when. This can be friendships and intimate partners. 

  • Take your self out on a date. Go to the movies. Plan a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant. Give yourself the date you have always wanted.
  • Meet someone new or talk to someone new. Volunteer at a local food shelter and start chatting with the people there. Say “hi” to your neighbor that you never talk to. 
  • Try a new activity. Join a meetup for something you like to do. Join a book club or writing club. 
  • Move or visit another country. 
  • If you don’t hang out with a person of the same sex often, start finding friends of the same sex.
  • Do something for your partner, that they have been wanting for a long time.

Take Away

There are so many more ways you can create self-love for yourself under these different categories. You may struggle with one or two categories more than the others. How you give self-love depends on your personality types and what you like. For example, I am introvert, so if I have been very social for 3 days in a row, I may need some space for myself. I could get that space by watching a movie at home, watching the sunset alone, or getting my toenails done. 

Everyone can show themselves love and it’s the start of a better and more fulfilling life! Find your inner superwoman (or superman)!

**In a few weeks, I will be releasing a workbook to help with some of these areas. I am so excited to share it with you soon. So keep a look out for the release!