Category: Personal Development

What I learned from the movie A Wrinkle in Time

Life is tough. It is extremely difficult sometimes. The universe is full of darkness. The things that cause us pain, suffering, and deceit. The darkness is where wars are started. Darkness tears people part and kills the dreams and light we have inside. 

Even when life is beautiful and magnificent, it is hard to be with sometimes. The darkness overrides the joy and happiness we have inside. I know this may seem depressing and negative. It is the truth. 

I told you I started volunteering for a non-profit that teaches English to refugees. I knew about the war between the Israelis and the Palestinians. I have known about that for a while. A dear friend named Becky showed me about that war along time ago. She was passionate about it and wanted to help show the world that the Palestinians needed their land and their freedom. I hope she is still passionate about it today. 

On Netflix, I was watching documentaries about the war in Syria. I wanted to understand in more depth what my student would and is currently facing. It was very hard to watch. The stuff that is happening over there in Syria and Gaza is terrifying, horrific, and maddening. 

So you are all probably wondering why I bring this negativity to such a positive blog and how it has to do with the movie, A Wrinkle in Time.

Well, keep reading.

Why do we have to be in Pain?

We will be in pain until we become one with the universe and ourselves. When we want to be someone we aren’t that creates a distance within us causing hurt. We are all put on this universe for something bigger. Something GRAND! 

We have facebook, Instagram, snap chat, and so many other social media sites that don’t give us the truth. You see the “happy” side to everyone. You don’t see the pain, sadness, or struggle they really deal with. Who wants to see the pain in others? 

I like to see the pain others go through because it shows me what is real. When I write, I tell you the happy parts and I also try to convey the sadness and struggle within me. That is being real. No one’s life is as perfect as it is on social media. 

Many people tell me I want an amazing boyfriend like yours. And I have to tell them he isn’t perfect. He actually isn’t my boyfriend. He and I are friends who have struggles and pain that keep our relationship the way it is. It is painful being with him sometimes. He isn’t perfect and I promise you all the people who seem to have the “perfect” relationship are lying. They struggle and they go through pain as you do.

We go through pain to show us the way to become one with the universe, to find ourselves. It’s like polarity, you can’t have one without the other. If there wasn’t darkness we wouldn’t know what light was. 

Darkness and the IT

In the movie, A Wrinkle in Time, the IT travels through the darkness. It is faster than light and travels everywhere. It affects everywhere in the universe. Darkness controls all of us. It takes away our happiness and hope. Jealousy and envy are what takes the place of happiness. That is where the pain comes from.

When we feel pain it’s because we are wanting to be something we aren’t. We think that having the perfect and having that next thing is what creates happiness. It is not true. People driven by darkness are people who fight and start wars because we want to OWN the land or have the almighty POWER! 

The darkness thinks power is the almighty. Pain, suffering, hate, and envy are darkness. As long as we feel that, we can’t have light. If we are jealous because that person has the perfect relationship, that is what will keep us from having the relationship we are meant to have. The darkness feeds on pain and envy. 

The dark will change its face many times. 

It will create a face in someone or something else to keep you from living your best life. It can stop you from manifesting the most magnificent and loving life. In the movie, the IT or darkness creates a place that is ever-changing. It makes you think you are hungry to bring you in. 

The dark will make you think that being skinny or rich is the only way to happiness. It will make you think that having a child or the perfect relationship is the key to life. When in reality that may not be the life for you. It can be something the darkness uses to distract you from your real purpose in life. 

Wars and hate are all because people let in the darkness. They want a certain life that was created based on what happened when we were children. If you don’t get love as a child you will create ways to fill that void. The darkness finds those flaws and turns them against us to gain power.

Our flaws can help us

All those flaws we have inside are not made to stop us. They are made to grow us. The darkness will use those negative aspects we think we have against us. If we embrace and LOVE our FLAWS, the darkness won’t have anything left to throw at us. The darkness will run out of the dark. 

Those flaws become our light. Our faults are our strengths. Use them against the dark to stay in the light. Our faults are BEAUTIFUL!

We can fight and bring back HOPE

We can fight the darkness by remembering that everyone has their own demons. Everyone has something inside that keeps them struggling and fighting. You may never see the demons because we do everything we can to hide it. 

Some people just want love. Others want to feel worthy and needed. We want to make a difference in this world. We all want something. And the things is… We ALL have that within us. We have the power to live a happy and fulfilling life. We have to fight the darkness and stay in the light. 

LOVE is the answer

Love is the key to light. Love is light. When we love ourselves in every way, we don’t allow the darkness to take from us what we know we deserve. We fight for our true happiness. We find hope and love in the smallest of things like our flaws. 

I don’t like certain aspects of myself. I am learning to love them little by little. I can be emotional. I can be pushy. I can be selfish. I can be lazy. I can feel worthless. I see my faults and I choose to love my faults. They are what makes me, ME. They are what got me to where I am today, good and bad. 

The more self-love I attain the more love I can give the world. The more love I can give the world the more light there is. If there is light people can find the way through the darkness. The way through the darkness is with LOVE. FIRST, love for yourself. Then, Love for others. 

WE are WARRIORS! Become a warrior of Earth! Bring light into this dark world any way you can. Bring love and happiness to everyone around you. SMILE! Say Hi to a stranger. Send a note to someone you love. Let someone you know you are there for them. What love you feel, let it out. The light wants to shine.

“All those who are willing to face the darkness… bring the best of themselves to the light… for the WORLD!”- A Wrinkle in Time

We all have Fears

Everyone has fears, small or big. They affect many areas of our lives whether we are aware of it or not. They stop us from having the things we want or they give us more than we could ever need. Having more than we could imagine can cause greed or egotistical issues. Fear can keep us from happiness. Fear can be paralyzing or a propeller forward.  Fear can help us find what makes us happy if we work through it.

Where do Fears start?

They start in the past. Our fears are from childhood situations that we don’t want to happen or have shaped our thinking. When something happens in our past we then have thoughts about it. We create a story that we carry with us forever. It creates what happens to us in the future. It gives us what we love and what we hate. 

How do we conquer our fears?

I was recently watching a TV series called “Scorpion”. They had this episode where they were exposed to seed dust that caused them to live their worst fears. They were hallucinating theirs from the past. The most intelligent psychiatrist had a solution to get this to become conscious again.  

“So let’s be logical. All fear has a genesis in history. If we go back and undo that moment then their darkest fears will cease to exist.”

This can be true. I know it has worked for me in the past and even now. If I work through the past and re-tell the story differently, my fears go away. We can all do this. We can all change the story from our past. It is what will help you get past some of your fears. 

Does this work for all fears?

Not all fears are based on the past. So no, it doesn’t work for all fears. The fear of heights for me isn’t based on an issue from the past. The way I get through this type of fear is to just do it. I went skydiving even though heights scares the hell out of me. 

If you have fear of water, germs, or heights you can just work through them by doing them. Go swimming in the ocean, shake someone’s hands, or go skydiving. Of course, be careful and make sure that you are safe. You don’t want to go swimming in the ocean if it is unsafe. 

These fears can be overcome little by little. I have come to conquer my fears over the years. Like surfing, I told myself I would never go surfing because of my fear of ocean waves drowning me. I have gone surfing twice. Once on my own without a trainer. 

Fears can help up grow

When we are fearful, we can learn what stops us. We can work through the fear and become freer. Being free from our fears can help us live the life we want. We can learn what our life’s purpose is when we conquer our fears. 

Don’t let fears stop you. Overcome them and live your best life. Find the part in your past that is shaping the way you think and live. See where you could be freer. It is possible to LIVE YOU BEST LIFE! 

What are your fears? What is stopping you from doing what you really want? What can you do about it? Live life as superwoman (or superman) and find your purpose.

Magical Things Happen When…

Manifest Your Life

As I begin to make changes in my life, ideas and situations come to me that I need. I am letting life manifest itself as I move into a different point in my life. I find that if I manifest while I am hustling magical things happen.

I have been working hard on changing jobs so that I can have more flexibility with my time. I have been worried about how I will make ends meet for the first few months during the transition. In my mind, I know that I am worth the life I want, so I went within and found myself in a place of tranquility and calm. This allowed a way for me to make it happen. It’s not long term answer, but it is a solution for the time being. It gives me an extra few months to get things up and running.

Also, I was able to come up with some ideas for the blog. I don’t know how that will take a form or how I will make it happen. However, I am positive when the time is right the new ideas will launch and achieve amazing results.  

Be Positive

When creating the life you want or making a change that is scary the best way to keep you going is to be positive. I know it is hard to do when times are tough or when you are faced with the unknown. I struggle with it all the time. I do have friends, family, and the blog to remind me that everything will be okay. 

If you don’t have someone in your life that doesn’t help you stay positive, you can always read inspirational stories like the ones in my blog or find read an autobiography from your favorite person. There are so many inspirational people out there including me that could help you through a tough patch. 

Listen to Your Heart

Get quiet, feel your heart, and listen. Your heart will tell you what’s meant for you. It doesn’t happen when your mind is full of chatter. Calm and quiet your thoughts so you can listen and feel your heart. 

It is easier to make life changes and manifest them when you know what your heart is saying and feeling. There are things that I want and I know what is important when I feel my heart. I may have to forgo those things because my heart knows it isn’t time for that yet. Events and situations happen at the right time. Even if something bad happens there is a reason for it. They happen to give us a push to make a change whether internal or external. 

Life is Beautiful

Life is beautiful in every situation. It may seem it is difficult or depressing or downright horrible, I guarantee there is something to be grateful for. Whether is a sunset or a beautiful rainbow during the rain, there is always something to find. 

I live in paradise, but life isn’t always sunshine and roses (not literally). I struggle and go through difficult times more often than I’d like to admit. When those times happen I find something little to be grateful for. The smile of the person walking past me or Nina’s excitement when I get home are things I am grateful for always. Sometimes we have to make our own beauty. We can do that by cooking ourselves and an amazing meal, or painting a picture, or take a bath. There are so many ways we can create beauty and gratefulness.

I challenge you… 

Find something to be grateful for for the next two weeks. Write it down and post in on the fridge (or place you will see it often). Find beauty somewhere in your life. Be aware of your surroundings and find something you find beautiful. Write about it or take a picture and share it with a friend. Whatever it is you can be grateful and find the beauty in every situation.

What is it you need?

Around this time last year, I wrote my self a letter. I gave myself love by telling myself things I used to look to others to tell me. Being in Costa Rica has shown me how to love myself even more. It is such a wonderful feeling to be able to tell yourself exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it. It is even more amazing when you do what you need for yourself when you need it. It’s self-love!

What is it that you need to hear?

I challenge you to write a letter to yourself. In the letter, tell yourself what you need to hear. Give yourself all the love that you crave from other people. Make it as short or as long as you need. Post it in your house and read it every day when you wake up. Really EMBRACE and BELIEVE what you write. Dig deep inside and write what you really feel. 

What is it that you need to do? 

I challenge you to do what you need to do. Do you need to change your job? Do you need to go on a date with yourself? Do you need to start the book you have always wanted to write? Do you need to take your dream trip to Europe or Thailand? Maybe, it is deep cleaning your house. (I needed that so I did it today) Whatever it is, BIG or SMALL, DO IT! Take some time to meditate and dig deep within your soul to see what you truly need to do. 

It will give you confidence!

Doing those two things will give you the boost of confidence you might need. I do them on a regular basis. I may not write a letter to myself every day, but I do tell myself what I need to hear. It boosts my confidence and enables me to be less attached to people’s words of encouragement. Don’t get me wrong, there are times we need encouragement from other people. Last week, I needed to hear from my mom something I had been struggling with. I had written about it and gave myself love. 

Doing what you need gives you peace of mind. It helps you relax. Every few months, I need to deep clean and organize my house so that my thoughts and outer world are consistent. I am now feeling order around me. I started two new jobs teaching online to make some extra money to pay off bills and create savings. 

Share the Love!

After you are full of self-love, share it. There are so many different ways to share the love. You can volunteer in your community. Recently, I volunteered for a local castration event for Dogs and Cats in the area. It was something new and it was so rewarding. I was able to share my inner love with the animals recovering from surgery. 

You can have a bonfire or get together with some close friends (or new friends). You can write a letter to someone who needs uplifting. Maybe a single mom struggling at the local shelter or even for the entire shelter. You can send a care package to military people overseas. 

Just give back the love you now have within! It will come back to you double!

What is Self-Love?

sandy beach with blue water and a brown mountain.

I have been writing about self-love a lot recently. It is one of my specialties. Learning what self-love is took me a long time. I have come to master it in so many ways. Even during a difficult time, I know what to do to give myself the love I need to make it through.

Since I am a self-love specialist and have been writing a lot about the subject, I should probably tell you what self-love is. 

Self Love can take many forms.

Self- love is deep or shallow. There are so many ways someone can show themselves self-love. It can range from saying “I love you” to working through past trauma. It varies and changes depending on what is going on in a person’s life. I am going to break it down into different parts. You may be really good at one part and struggle with the other ways. 

You need all forms of self-love to live a happy and fulfilled life. It is easy to neglect one way and focus on others. The way to get the most out of life is to practice self-love in every area of your life. 

Physical

This consists of doing things for yourself that you need physically.  You would be surprised how often people do not take care of themselves physically. This is a basic need that should be met no matter what. There are way more ways than the ones listed below. This list is a starting point.

  • Take a shower every day. If you need twice a day.
  • Clip your toenails and fingernails. (I am not kidding you on this one.)
  • Brush and floss your teeth.
  • Do your hair. Make sure it is nice. If you are a man, get it cut regularly. If you are a girl, switch up the hairstyle every now and then.
  • Eat and drink healthy. Sometimes this means giving up smoking or drinking alcohol. 
  • Wear nice, clean clothes. I don’t mean dress for a black tie event. I am talking about having nice clothes. No holes, no dirt, no sweat stains, the right size, etc. 
  • Shave. For girls shave your legs, armpits, and other areas you like to shave often. For men, if you have a beard keep it tight. Here in Costa Rica, plenty of men actually shave their armpits as well. Since it is so hot it keeps them from smelling bad. 
  • Drink fresh water. I am not talking about flavored water or water with something added to it. If you need to add electrolytes as I do here, that’s okay because it can keep you from being dehydrated. 
  • Exercise. Whether it is running around the yard with your dog or running a marathon get active. There are so many ways to stay fit. Take an aerial yoga class, swim, or dance. Do what you can do. 

Emotional

Emotions can be intense or dampened depending on the person. They can vary in intensity too. Some people experience a ton of emotions (this is me) and others simply ignore them. One way or another they need to be understood and overcame. This can be done a bunch of ways. 

  • Let yourself go through the emotion. Cry or Scream if needed
  • Write down your feelings and emotions.
  • Talk to a therapist or someone you trust about what you are feeling and going through.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (They have apps for this) I have used this in the past and it is super helpful with understanding feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
  • Take space to deal with what is going on inside. Do breathing exercises. 
  • Tell people how you feel.
  • Walk away from people who are negative or harmful to you.

Spiritual

This one is the hardest for me to get now that I am in Costa Rica. When in the states, I had a school in NYC that I attended. Here is either cost a boat ton of money or during my workday. For me, the church doesn’t help anymore. I don’t want to get into that. Here are some suggestions for you.

  • A spiritual school
  • Church
  • Yoga/Meditating
  • Self-Improvement seminars 
  • Breathing Exercises

Social

This one will vary depending on the person. If you are an extrovert you may need more of this than an introvert. As you begin to understand what you need, you will notice how much socialization you need and when. This can be friendships and intimate partners. 

  • Take your self out on a date. Go to the movies. Plan a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant. Give yourself the date you have always wanted.
  • Meet someone new or talk to someone new. Volunteer at a local food shelter and start chatting with the people there. Say “hi” to your neighbor that you never talk to. 
  • Try a new activity. Join a meetup for something you like to do. Join a book club or writing club. 
  • Move or visit another country. 
  • If you don’t hang out with a person of the same sex often, start finding friends of the same sex.
  • Do something for your partner, that they have been wanting for a long time.

Take Away

There are so many more ways you can create self-love for yourself under these different categories. You may struggle with one or two categories more than the others. How you give self-love depends on your personality types and what you like. For example, I am introvert, so if I have been very social for 3 days in a row, I may need some space for myself. I could get that space by watching a movie at home, watching the sunset alone, or getting my toenails done. 

Everyone can show themselves love and it’s the start of a better and more fulfilling life! Find your inner superwoman (or superman)!

**In a few weeks, I will be releasing a workbook to help with some of these areas. I am so excited to share it with you soon. So keep a look out for the release!

Difficult Times: It Doesn’t Last Forever

Classes have been out for two weeks now. It has been a rough two weeks. The first three to four days, it was great and amazing. I felt free. Since then, it’s been a bit low for me. I have been crying, sleeping, avoiding people, and feeling useless. I have been having a difficult time dealing with some stuff in life. A few things have attributed to this.

Birth Control

I started birth control again. After a Birth Control free year, I decided I needed to start taking it again. The last three months, I have been getting headaches. Headaches so bad I couldn’t function. No medicine, even migraine medicine would help. It made it very difficult to work on the website, spend time with Nina, or focus on teaching. The migraines would happen three to four times a month and last two to five days. 

Headaches can keep anyone from living a full life. They hurt so bad you can’t open your eyes. They are so often you can’t call out of work. It is debilitating. Birth Control has kept my headaches gone in the past so starting BC again is what I need to show my self-love. 

Detoxing

When we are exposed to energies and difficult situations, our bodies are subject to constant fight mode. If we can’t get away from it for a long period of time it builds up. When we do get the space we need, we have to detox all the energies and feelings we weren’t able to let go of. 

During the school year,  I had some difficult students. They drained me in more ways than one. I wasn’t able to decompress enough during the school year. So, the last eight days have been very emotional for me. I have been wanting to sleep and avoid people because I couldn’t do that during the school year. I wanted to stay home and take time off so I could take care of myself. With a teaching job that isn’t easy to call out of work. 

Now, I am not around the students and I can finally let my self release all of that tension. To do this, I need to sleep and stay at home as often as I can until I feel free from the energies. 

Dealing with the past

When I was little, how my mom and dad were with me has shaped how I feel about myself now. My dad based my allowance on how well I did in school and took that way depending on how I kept my room clean. So, therefore I never had an allowance. When I got older my mom didn’t help me with money as much as she did my sister. Both of these led me to believe I am not “good enough” to make money. I am not “good enough” to have anything good in life that costs money. 

Recently, I started applying to teach online to make extra money during the summer to pay off some debts. It has been a struggle because I know teaching online will help me achieve the goals I have. My ideas of money from the past are keeping me from doing so. I have to deal with this feeling of not being good enough to fully live the life I want. 

It’s okay to feel the way you feel.

When someone is going through a lot of changes it is okay to feel the way they feel. I have been feeling sad, down, unloved, and many other feelings. I have been making sure I give my self-love even if I don’t feel it like I normally do. 

I allow myself to cry, stay alone, and give myself credit for the small things. Even though I am not functioning at 100% my best, I am functioning. I tell myself… thank you for playing fetch with Nina outside, thank you for eating a salad instead of eating a burger, and thank you for cleaning the dishes in the sink. 

All of those things may seem small and unimportant, but when you are struggling those things are the simplest and biggest way to remind yourself that you are okay and you won’t die. There are so many other small activities I have been doing that allow me to be with what I am feeling. If I need to cry for an hour to release the sadness, I do it. If I need to sleep for 4 hours during the day, I do it. 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING…. IT DOESN’T LAST FOREVER!! If you allow your self to feel it and go through it, it goes away. I promise. I am slowly getting back to the normal me. Each day, I become a better me. 

You can do it too!!

You can make it through your difficult times just like me. Self-love, appreciation, and doing the best you can all make a huge difference in dealing with change. I didn’t run from it. I didn’t hide from it. I am dealing with it by changing my mindset, loving myself, and being patient. You can do the same.

Remind yourself that you area phoenix burning so you can be reborn again stronger and more beautiful than before! You are superwoman and it is okay to be down. We all have our kryptonite. It doesn’t last forever!

Part Two: How Do We Find Out What Needs to be Changed?

This is part two of a series about change. Last week, I wrote about the signs you may have when you need to change things in your life. This article is about how to find out what needs change. There are so many things we could need to change in our life. It could be our jobs, relationships, diet, or anything in between. 

So, how do we find out what needs to be changed? It could be everything needs to change or just one aspect. Here is how I find out what needs to be shifted. 

Meditate

Meditating can help you calm your mind of all the junk thoughts. It can relax your body and mind so you can get past the emotions. Our emotions can cause us to think irrationally and make decisions that aren’t based on reality. When we take the time to meditate with Yoga, breathing, or any other calming activity, we create a sense of space for ourselves to dig deep. 

If we are always angry, upset, or irritated our decisions will be based on those energies as well. Maybe the emotions and feelings are coming from a sense of ego and you just need to adjust yourself. Other times the emotions and feeling like anger and sadness are from outside forces telling you it’s time to move on. 

Feel Your Energy

Feel what’s going on inside of you. Where are the emotions and energies coming from? Our ego or other people? As an Empath, I take on energies from everyone. Some are harder for me to separate from my own than others. If I take into account that I am calm inside, but I still feel these things so maybe it is the environment that I am in. 

It can be hard for someone to feel these energies and take a step back if they don’t meditate. That is why I suggest meditation as the first step to understanding where the changes should occur. We know what we need to do for ourselves, we just need to trust ourselves and find out where it’s coming from. 

Take Some Time Away

Distance is a good way to see what you need to do. If you leave your job for the weekend and you are feeling a sense of relief, but still have anxiety it could mean you need to switch jobs. I have been in jobs where I love being at work. I look forward to going every day even if there is stress. 

If you are with a significant other and you are unsure of the relationship, adding some space can help you clear your mind and see what you really want. 

Space is always good for finding out what is the cause and what is not. If you have an allergy to milk, the only way to find out if you do or not is to stop drinking or eating milk products. If your symptoms go away then you know it was the milk. The same thing goes for other areas of our lives. 

Again, beware of leaving a situation. It could be your ego that needs to change, sometimes. 

Talk It Out

Not sure what to think, talk to a trusted friend. Tell someone you are really close to that would give you unbiased support. If you are having issues with your job, don’t talk to a co-worker who may have the same anxieties. If you aren’t sure about your relationship, talk to someone who may not know everything about that person, such as family. 

Talking it out can give you some ideas that you didn’t have words for. It helps you get the thoughts out of your head and into the world. If you don’t have anyone to talk to writing it out can be just as helpful. Or do both, talking and writing. I love talking to people because they could give you a perspective you didn’t know. You may think that leaving your job for another similar job in the area isn’t an option, but there may be another option someone else knows. The universe will give you when you need it, you just need to be open to it. 

Pros and Cons List

I use this to write down all the reasons to do or not to do something. It gets the thoughts organized in my brain. I can physically see if there are more pros or cons of making a decision. If I have more cons than it probably is not a good decision to leave or make the change. 

Take away

With all these combined, you can make an informed and sound choice on what you should do to live a better life. Deep down, who really wants to live a mediocre or unfulfilling life? You deserve to live a great and meaningful like. To have that life, you need to change. Don’t be afraid to make life-changing decisions. We only grow after we go through something rough and break down the ego around it. 

I challenge you to go out and make a change in your life. Look at the areas that no longer suit you and do something about it. I promise if you do it for the right reasons (even the bad reasons) you will change as a person. Just stay open to whatever could happen. Manifest the life you want and live it. 

It all started with… Self Love

For most of my childhood into my teenage years, I thought that I was an extrovert. I craved attention and was always the life of the party. I would do random stuff like play pocket twister in the middle of the mall with my friends. I was never happy. It seemed right. It seemed as though I was living the perfect life. 

When I was married, my then husband and I would go out drinking having fun. I had so many friends. On my wedding day, I had bridesmaids that were my best friends. You know, living life. All while I was dying inside. I had no idea what I needed and I never took care of myself the way I do now. 

After my divorce, I started to dig deeper within myself. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to take control of my life. All those bridesmaids I had disappeared (except my sister). Two of which I had been friends with for 20 years. 

Seriously, I lost everything. My marriage, my friends, and life as I knew it. I was devastated. Not because I lost everything, but because I didn’t know who I was anymore. 

I had to figure out how to give myself love. I had to find who I truly was deep inside. 

It all started with… Self Love.

I started giving myself love in small ways, like getting my nails done when I was having a hard time. I was learning how to truly love myself. I was not always the cleanest person, so I started making sure my care was clean and my house was clean. I started making sure I was eating healthier foods. So many little things I never did to love my body and my mind. 

After a time, that self-love grew deeper. I began to forgive my family and myself. I let go of what happened in my marriage. I owned my mistakes and put myself in his shoes. I came to peace with many aspects of my childhood. 

I acknowledged that fact that I am not an extrovert. Deep inside, I am an introvert. I crave my alone time. I NEED the space to feel my emotions and process my thoughts. I HAD to learn to be who I truly am. 

Being an introvert is different than an extrovert.

Extroverts need to be around people to recharge and feel fulfilled. Introverts need time away from people to be with themselves. The self-love for each type is so different. Introverts like me need to go on dates with themselves. While extroverts need to go out an socialize. 

Self-love is as hard as it is. Giving yourself the wrong type of self-love can be damaging to your entire life. It took me years to figure this out. I actually figured this out when I took the Myer’s Briggs personality test in College. 

The test told me I was an INFJ. The “I” stands for an introvert. 

I was shocked and blown away by this. I didn’t want to believe it. I thought I was an extrovert my entire life. After some thinking and manifesting, this changed the way I saw myself, which changed my life.

I think all the self-love I was doing before I took that test was preparing me for the shift I needed with my mind. I knew in my heart for so many years that I wasn’t an extrovert. When I began to give myself love, I began to see things differently. So, after the test results, life made sense. Everything was complete. My mind, body, and soul where one. 

I knew who I was at that moment.

I found my true self. The work didn’t stop there though. I am still working on the self-love because self-love is a never-ending process. I am learning new ways to show myself love for my personality type and for my needs. 

If we can’t love ourselves truly, we can’t love others truly. 

It all starts with… Self Love!!

Life Requires Change: Part One

Playa Ocotal Sunset

In order to keep true to yourself, you need to know what’s not working for you. Sometimes we think what is best for us is staying where we are. And other times we just need to make a change and get outside the box. Self-love is being able to say no when something isn’t working and have faith to find what will work.

Signs you need a change

Change is needed to give yourself the love you need. There are many signs that I have noticed over the years that show me something needs to change. There are different reasons a person might want to change. As I have stated in past articles, some change is done because we are running from something. Another change is done because our soul needs it. Here are some signs your soul wants some adjustment. 

Too Tired

You may need a change when you are tired all the time. You work a long day and all you want to do is sleep and watch tv. You don’t enjoy the things you used to enjoy because you are too tired to go do them. You stop cooking healthy meals because you are too tired to cook them. There are so many things we don’t do because we are exhausted. You can sleep 12 hours a night with a nap in the afternoon and still be exhausted. Being tired all the time is a sign that your soul needs a rest. You are not living the best life you can. Your soul needs a rest from something you aren’t giving it. 

Angry or Depressed

When we are not living our best lives, we aren’t doing the things we love. This can cause anger or depression. Possibly, both. Depending on the situation, you could be depressed because you know you deserve better. You could be angry because you feel that you have no other options. It comes down to our souls wanting to be free. We feel caged and trapt in our situations with no way out. Or we lie to ourselves saying we need to stay where we are. If we are truly living, we would be happy, content, and awake. 

Fear of the Unknown

Fear of the unknown can keep us boxed into the life we are living. We don’t want to change jobs or move abroad or leave the person we spent so much time with. Change isn’t easy. It pushes us to grow and learn something. Fear of the unknown is a trap for so many people to stay where they are. We don’t want to leave the comfort zone because what lies ahead isn’t a sure thing. When we fear something so much we deny it, it can be a sign of needed change. Our soul knows that something great is on the other side of the change, yet we don’t want to do it because it is scary. 

Relationships don’t seem to matter

When I need some change in my life the relationships in my life seem like a lot of work. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to message them. I just don’t want them. We are spending so much time on denying we need change that we don’t have the energy for what is important to us. We distance ourselves from the people we love because we are too exhausted to give them the love and attention they need or want.

Physical sickness

Headaches, stomach pains, or any other sickness that doesn’t seem to go away. Even weight gain. These can all be stress related issues due to not giving yourself enough self-love. It’s our bodies way of telling us that something needs to change. I know for me, when I get sick I try to find out the root cause. There are things I know my body needs, so I can change my diet, add more exercise, do more breathing. When this doesn’t work, I have to look at other areas of my life that are causing me unneeded stress. Physical sickness combines with all the above can be a huge sign that something needs to change. 

Stay tuned for Part Two: How to find out what needs to be changed. Coming Soon!

Mindset Shift

a coin on the ground

A few years ago, some friends of mine were walking on the beach with me. One of them bent down to pick up a coin off the ground. She told me that she picks up the money she sees because if she doesn’t she won’t have good luck with money. If she doesn’t pick one up, the money won’t come to her again.

Since then, I pick up every coin I see on the ground. Sometimes I find 100 colones and sometimes I find 10 colones. One time, I found $1 worth of colones on the ground.

Until recently, I never missed a coin. I started to question what she said, just slightly.

Everything has energy, right?

Yea, it does. Every time you touch something (or walk into a place), you leave energy and you pick up the energy that was there before. Some energy is better than others. So, this got me thinking…

What if the coin I was picking up had negative energy? Like the person was bad with money and they lost the money due to a negative mindset around money.

Right, so?

What if I pick up that money and now have that bad luck with money?

I choose to risk this and find out. There were a few times where I saw some money and decided not to pick it up depending on how the money “felt”. I was walking in Huacas and I saw some money on the ground. I looked at the money and thought about picking it up. I choose not to because I didn’t feel right.

Two days later, I found more money in the parking lot of the Maxi Pali. I did the same. I felt it and thought about picking it up. This time I did because I felt it was right.

Then a few days later, someone gave me money to help with my monthly bills. I don’t know what would have happened if I had picked up that first coin, but I am willing to leave money that doesn’t feel right. I would rather have little money than have money that is tainted in some way.

This can be applied to relationships and everything else in our lives.

Just because a relationship seems promising or it has something you really like, doesn’t mean you need to “keep” it. People carry energy just like money. If someone is dealing with something in their lives, it doesn’t mean you need to be with them all the time. Occasionally, they need space to be with their thoughts, to deal with themselves.

If you don’t shift your mindset, you will keep getting the same things.