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Importance of Boundaries

Importance of Boundaries

Boundaries are important to any aspect of life, especially self-love. We have to set boundaries to protect yourselves. We can show the most love to ourselves by saying “No!” to things that don’t suit us. It can be one of the hardest things to do when it comes to family and relationships. It is necessary because we need to do what is best for our well being. 

Boundaries tell the other person or people when to give us our space. It also shows them what we allow in our lives and what we don’t. It is important that people understand what we want and don’t want in our lives. By setting boundaries, we are showing ourselves the respect and love we deserve. We can expect others to show us respect if we don’t give it to ourselves. 

Respect Yourself

Respect is very important in any relationship especially with ourselves. Showing ourselves respect can raise our energy and improve our happiness. Giving ourselves respect will show others how they need to respect us. They will know what you do with yourself and that they can’t do the same with you.

So how do you respect yourself? Here are ways you can show yourself and other people respect!

Saying “No!”

Saying “No” is step one to showing yourself respect and other respect. No is the simplest way to tell someone you don’t like something or don’t want to do something. If you don’t like it when someone touches your arm a certain way, saying NO is simple, easy, and straight forward. If the person respects you, they will stop. If you don’t like when someone calls you a certain name and you say NO, they should understand that isn’t what you like. I don’t like it when people call me Ash. It isn’t my name so I politely tell people “No, it’s Ashley.” 

You can also show yourself respect by saying “No, I can’t go out with you tonight”, if you’re an introvert and need space for yourself. Or “No, I can’t go out because I don’t have money.” In all these instances (and many more) you are showing yourself and the others that you won’t spend money when you don’t have it, you will put yourself first, and whatever else you don’t like or want. If they respect you, they will leave it alone.

Walking away

Step two is walking away. If someone keeps doing something you don’t like and you have told them no many times, then it’s time to walk away. I know this may be hard especially if you really love and care about that person. Depending on what they did or said can depend on how long you stay away. I am all for giving second chances if the person’s actions weren’t severe. 

As I have spoken about before, I had to walk away from my mom for a few months. She and I have grown stronger and we both understand each other’s boundaries. As for an ex-boyfriend, I had in the past I walked away from them and never looked back. He never learned that I had boundaries and he couldn’t cross them. 

By walking away, you gain your power and self-love and they get a hard understanding of what you want. It doesn’t always change the other person because some people just don’t understand respect or boundaries. It is okay because you just walk away. If it is a serious boundary-crossing you may want to go to the police or local authorities to report them.

Integrity

This is the most important step to making sure the first step is taken seriously. Integrity is where you follow through on what you say you are doing to do. If you say No to someone, but then go back on your word, the person won’t take you seriously. Some people are very persistent and push and push, that is why walking away is step two. You may need to take drastic actions. 

Integrity is following through with your word. If you want people to take your word for the truth then do what you say. If I say “No, I can’t come I need alone time” (and they continue to push) but then you go with them, the person learns that you will change your mind after being pushed. 

We want our boundaries to be respected so we need to do what we say. It is important in every area of our lives.

SELF-LOVE is the way to find the universe because the universe is within you

SELF-LOVE is the way to find the universe because the universe is within you

The Stray: The Movie

I was watching a movie called “The Stray” on Netflix this evening. The movie is a true story. It’s about a stray dog that found the Davis Family. The Davis Family is a family of five, three kids and two parents. They had some struggles during their time in California. The boy had trouble with bullies. The parent’s marriage was on the edge. The dad worked day and night. This stray dog, named Pluto, came into their lives one random day. 

He was there to protect them in many ways. He helped the little boy with his bullying. The youngest of the family got lost in town, Pluto found her. Which led to them moving to Colorado, where they lead a different life. 

The father no longer worked day and night, but the family still struggled. The boy was angry with his dad for not being there for him in California. 

The father, boy, two friends, and Pluto went on a camping trip where they got struck by lightning. Pluto took the brunt of the power from the strike. The dad had trouble moving his limbs and blood from his ears and the boys were just knocked out for a short time. Pluto didn’t make it.

Pluto was a lifesaver.

The universe knows best. 

I am a strong believer the universe knows what’s best. As I watched the movie, I thought the dog came into their lives for a reason. I realized in the end, it was to protect the family from losing a father. Without Pluto taking the majority of the force, the father would not have survived and the boys would have been stuck in the wilderness alone. 

Back in 1991, cell phones were not prevalent or possibly non-existent. I couldn’t imagine what would have happened to the boys. 

The universe knew something was going to happen that night. The family debated whether Pluto should go or stay home. He went. And for a good reason that no one knew about. 

This happens to us all.

When we trust in the universe, it gives us what we need, in the moment, to grow and be our better selves. I can show you many examples in my life where the universe made things happen. If you told me about your life, I could tell you exactly where the universe was and why it was there. 

Seriously…

I am not kidding…

Things happen for a reason

Nina came into my life and changed it completely. I wouldn’t have quit my job at Educarte if it wasn’t for her. She came into my life and all I wanted to do was make sure she had the best. That meant being home more often to play with her and love on her. 

Not only do I support her, but she also supports me. She reminds me to love myself. Nina shows me the times I need space or the times I need exercise. Nina is an eye-opener for me. I know that I am capable of many things.

Nina showing up on my doorstep. The electricity bill was outrageous so I had to move. Quitting my job to move to Costa Rica. Starting this blog. 

All of it happened for a reason. 

This blog started off as a no big deal, share my adventures with my family type deal. I never thought weidergabe would be what it is today. It’s not a huge success and it’s not making me any money, but it does have readers from all over the world. Weidergabe has inspired people to live their best life. To follow their dreams and to make a difference in the world. 

I never would have imagined two years ago weidergabe being where it is today. I have visions and ideas to take this blog someplace amazing. 

GO after your dreams!

The universe has your back. It knows what you need to listen to your heart. Find yourself and dig deep within to be present to what the universe wants for you.

No dreams are too big. No dreams are too small. It is possible even if you have no money or you have no idea what you’re doing. Find a way and make it happen. 

Let the big things come into your life even if they seem scary. Embrace the little things and remember they are there for you from the universe. 

SELF-LOVE is the way to find the universe because the universe is within you.

Finding the Hidden

Finding the Hidden

This week has been full of many adventures. My life is incredible.

This girl from my TEFL school was looking for hours to complete her practicum hours. I invited her to my school to observe or tutor a few of my students. She spent Monday and Tuesday at school with me learning the ropes.

I had off school Wednesday so we decided to go on an hike to a spectacular waterfall with some of my other friends.

We rented a Toyota Yaris that got upgraded to an SUV for free since the Yaris wasn’t available. (due to an accident). I am so glad this happened because we needed it to get to the waterfall.

This waterfall is about 30 minutes away from Liberia. Other than that, I can’t tell you how to get there. My friend’s boyfriend was our guide. There is no way I could find my way back to the waterfall.

We hiked about 10 minutes to the first swimming hole. The water was a little blue due to the sulfur in the water. We striped down to our bathing suits and jumped into the water! It was incredible. Cold, but refreshing. Nina was with us and she almost jumped off the ledge after me.

We swam for about 15 minutes before continuing on the hike. The hike got a bit more treacherous after that. We had to climb our way through caves that had bats. We trekked through different small rivers. I don’t have the words to describe the hike was. At certain points, we had to pass Nina across a river or up a huge boulder. At one point, she ran up a huge boulder alone and couldn’t get down.

We saw monkeys, a racoon looking animal, bats, and these beautiful blue dragonflies.

There was another place to jump into the pool of water about halfway between the waterfall and the beginning of the hike. It was a higher jump and a bit more scary for me. I made it though. Once in the water, it was refreshing, risp, and a sight to see. We were below these huge rocks. The only way out was to climb down, around, and up again. I had to crawl through a tight space.

We hiked some more, finally reaching the entrance to the waterfall. The pool of water leading to the waterfall was a celeste blue color. It was surrounded by rocks. The current was coming towards us so my friend’s boyfriend swam ahead and used a rope to pull us through the current. All I could do was stand in awe once I enter the cave where the waterfall was. It was loud and perfect for swimming.

Nina was not very happy. She doesn’t like to be in water if she can’t touch the bottom. She scratched my back up really bad. She was trying to swim the other direction which made it very hard to get anything done. When we were pulled by the rope she stood on my back.

The hike back was quicker as we didn’t stop to take photos as often.

After the hike, we headed home. I got to my house and there was a wild fire about 100 feet from my house. We called the fire department and they showed up right away. They contained the fire by cutting down brush and creating more fire close to my house. After that burned, they used water and a leaf blower to keep the fire from reaching my house.

It was a bit stressful. I had seen wildfires in the area many times. It has never been this close to my house. Pretty surreal.

If you ever travel to another country, make friends with locals. Go see the secluded spots and test your strength. Do what scares you, and make the most of life. Seeing places like this are a once in a lifetime opportunity that can change your life. Go and find the hidden, within yourself by pushing yourself to do new things.

Life in Costa Rica

Life in Costa Rica

Easter is a huge deal here in Costa Rica. So much so most of the government shuts down for a week. As a teacher, I had off for two weeks. It was a great two weeks. I got a lot of stuff done for the website, went on a mini vacation with friends, and got my CR driver’s license. It was two weeks full of adventure and growth.

Getting a CR License

Getting my driver’s license was probably the easiest thing I have done with the Costa Rican government. (getting things done here is hard, keep reading). Since I had my US driver’s license, I didn’t need to take any tests. I simply went to the office with my paperwork and got my new license. It was easy for the most part.

First, I had my US driver’s license translated into English with the local official translator. I did this ahead of time so all I had to do was pick it up and pay for it. ($20)

Second, I had to get a medical health check done. I did this directly across the street from the Cosevi (driver’s license building). As soon as they opened, I walked in. She asked me for all my personal information and any health issues current and past. The doctor gave me a quick eye exam, a reflex test (you know the one where they hit your knee with the little hammer), listened to my breathing and asked me a few mental questions. This was the most interesting part. The doctor asked me to repeat 3 words: casa, manzana, and gato. Then I needed to spell the word “Mundo” backward. Lastly, I needed to repeat the same 3 words again: casa, manzana, and gato. I almost forgot the words!! I paid around 27.000 colones for the exam.

Lastly, I took the medical report, translated driver’s license, my Costa Rican credula work permit card, and my original driver’s license to Cosevi. They looked over all my stuff, put it in the system, and took my photo. I walked out of the building with my CR license in hand.

No craziness, no returning, and no issues. Simple, straightforward, and done!

Motorcycle Impound

Before I met Jonathan, he lost the plate to his motorcycle. We tried to get a new one a few months back, and they told us he needed a paper from a lawyer. Since we were in Liberia (an hour away by motorcycle), we tried to get a lawyer there to do the document for us. All the lawyers in Liberia wanted over $50. The lawyer in Brasilito close to our house wanted $25. We decided to wait. Since I was getting my driver’s license in Liberia, we got the paper from the lawyer so we could get it all done and over with. That ended up a nightmare.

We got my License and were headed to get the new plate for his motorcycle when the traffic police stopped us. Jonathan had the paper from the lawyer and a sticker on the back with the correct plate number. His plates were up to date, he just didn’t have the plate. The police took the motorcycle and gave us a ticket. He pleaded with them to let us keep it. They didn’t care. We got the new plates, got on the bus and headed home.

We tried to pay the ticket three days later. The system wouldn’t allow us to do it because it was a Saturday. Monday morning Jonathan went to Liberia to pay the fine and get the motorcycle. They told him since it was Semana Santa they couldn’t release the bike as there was no one there to do it, but allowed him to pay the fine. They also told him that they are charging him 4.000 colones (about $7) a day for the bike being in storage.

Fast forward to this past a week later, he goes back to Liberia and they tell him they don’t know where the bike is and he needs to make an appointment online.

We thought “okay cool, let’s make the appointment, pay the storage fee, and listo.”

NOPE!!

I was UNABLE to make the appointment because the motorcycle ISN’T IN THE SYSTEM. I tried for three days and kept getting the same error.

We called our lawyer to see if they could help. They could for $20, but Jonathan wanted to go in person one last time.

He goes this morning and FINALLY, he was ABLE to get the motorcycle. But before paying 70.000 colones which is $116.

SO a word of advice…. Don’t get your car or motorcycle taken away by the police in Costa Rica. It is a pain to get out of impound.

Mini Vacation

I wanted to go to Limon, on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica. It was too expensive for my budget to do it alone so I asked a friend and her three friends. Since most of the inexpensive places were unavailable or didn’t allow pets, we decided to go to the Osa Peninsula, which is south near the Panama border.

I found this amazing little hostel in the jungle. It was $11 a night. We rented a little Toyota Corolla from Alamo for $37 a person (we split the total cost 5 ways) and off we went. It is about an 8-hour drive including stops for food and gas from Liberia. We had no plans or expectations, other than to have a good time.

Nina came with us which was such an amazing experience. She was overwhelmed a little bit since it was all new for her. Nina had never been in a car for that long and never experienced the jungle as we did.

After the long drive, we arrived at our hostel. It was pretty much a camping experience. The toilet was a bucket with a manmade wooden box around it to sit on. After we went to the bathroom we had to put sawdust on it to keep the smell down.

The rooms had bunk beds in them with a nice mosquito net around them. The “walls” were made of green see-through material (see photos). The only place with light and electricity was the kitchen so we had to use flashlights once it got dark. We had banana trees and other green and beautiful plants all around us. Just past the bathrooms, was a river that was great for swimming in.

Nina had plenty of room to explore and run. She was in heaven. Since there was no fence she free access to the whole place. At night, I put a headlamp around her neck so I could find her easily.

The first day we went grocery, found dinner, reserved a tour for the next day and relaxed in the kitchen playing cards. We didn’t have much time to do anything else as we arrived there mid-afternoon and it gets dark around 5:30 pm.

We wanted to go into Corcovado National Park to an amazing waterfall I read about online. We found out four things. One we need a guide to enter the park and since it was Semana Santa we couldn’t do so. Second, a guide was around $75- $90 a person. Third, the waterfall I wanted to go to was closed to the public as it was used for drug purposes a while back. And lastly, Nina can’t enter the National Parks here in Costa Rica. Which means she would be in her cage for most of the day. (Not good for her)

Since Corcovado Park was not going to happen, we decided to do a kayak tour to see bioluminescence in the evening and hike the river by our hostel in the morning. The kayak tour was $35 a person for 3 hours and the river hike was free.

The river hike was a sight to see. We simply directly walked the river. Nina was able to come with us. She absolutely LOVED IT! The hike led to a small waterfall off to the side. Not huge and you couldn’t swim at the bottom, but it was worth it to see. Once you walked a little past the waterfall there were pools of water perfect for relaxing and swimming.

Nina was such a protector because every person we passed, she barked. We met some gold miners as that river has some gold. She didn’t go far and she came back every time I called her name. We did this for most of the morning and afternoon. By the time, we needed to leave for the kayak tour, Nina was knocked out. She slept the entire time we were gone.

The kayak tour was worth it. We weren’t sure if we would see the bioluminescence because of the full moon. When the moon is full, it’s too bright to see the lights in the water. Bioluminescence is plankton in the water that glows when moved. We got lucky that the thunderstorm had such dark clouds that covered the moonlight. They were like stars in the ocean. It is a must see!

On our last full day, we went to a beach called, Playa Pan Dulce and another waterfall. That was an adventure for sure, we got lost. The man said the waterfall was to the right after the second bridge. We walked over the bridge and kept walking looking for the right to turn. We walked this HUGE MOUNTAIN!! I was so slow and Nina was right by my side the entire time, barking at anyone that passed.

Finally, we decided we had enough and asked a taxi that was driving by. We passed the turn a long time ago. We turned around and spent some time on the beach first. Nina and I were exhausted so we skipped the waterfall for a nap in the car. The others went to the waterfall.

I was able to hang out with some amazing woman. Nina got exercise and showed me how perfect of a dog she is for me. We all got to see a beautiful, lush, and tranquil place.

Website Work and Taxes

I had my first coaching call with Evan. He is such an amazing coach. In one session, I learned so many new things. I learned my post to the Death Row inmate is at the top of the second page on google. I know how to look at my website privately without messing with the stats. We got a game plan for the theme. Did some small changes to help my google legitimacy better.

I am working on two different items to sell on the blog. I am super excited to share them with you when they are ready! I have been putting good energy into making them happen!

Since I am still technically a resident of Maryland and I am still a citizen of the US, I need to pay taxes if I make over $12,000. I made $12,220 last year. SOOOO…. I paid $21 to the US government and a whopping $552 to the state of Maryland!!!! It is ridiculous. And there is no way out of it until I become a permanent resident of Costa Rica. Then I will qualify to an exception.

There are only 4 ways to become a permanent resident of Costa Rica .

  1. Marry a Tico or someone with a residency here
  2. Have a baby
  3. Own a business
  4. Buy land or a house that is worth over $150k

None of those options work for me so I will be paying taxes to the US government every year.

Life in Costa Rica is fascinating, ever-changing, and beautiful. It is stressful and crazy, and I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. I am in love. Would you want to live in a place like Costa Rica?