Tag: growth

Write a Bucket List: Live Your Best Life

Everyone has a list of things they want to accomplish in their life. I know I do. Having a bucket list is great for personal development. When we think of personal development, we think of overcoming fears or changing our way of being. Which is a lot of work and not necessarily fun.

It doesn’t always have to be full of work. We can make personal development fun and exciting. Live your best life.

When a person is working on themselves they are working to become a better person than they were the day before. Your bucket list can help you do that too. I have crossed off so many things from my list. Each time I did so, I grew in some way or another. I think of the things I want to achieve as an adventure that is waiting to happen.

Over the last 10 years, I have done so have so many amazing adventures while completing my bucket list. I have done things I never thought I could. It has been wonderful. Some I shared with friends and family. Others I did alone. It didn’t matter who I did it with, I still learned something valuable.

Items from my Bucket list I have completed.

Skydiving:

When I turned 18 my dad and I went skydiving together. It was spectacular! I am afraid of heights so falling from a plane at that height was terrifying for me. Once I was in the plane, things were completely different. I felt free and open. It was beautiful and jaw dropping. The experience can ONLY be understood when you do it.

Getting Tattoos:

I have two tattoos. One I knew I wanted for a few years before I got it. A friend of mine had drawn me a picture of a fairy sitting on a moon. The minute she happened it to me, I knew I was the symbol I wanted to use to remember my Memom. So, as soon as I turned 18 I got it done.

The second was done last year. I wrote a blog about it after I did it. You can read about it here. It was pretty unexpected. I knew I wanted another tattoo, but I didn’t know when or where. Then one day, I just did it. And I ABSOLUTELY love it!

Living Abroad:

You can ask anyone. When I was younger, I talked about living in another country. For years, I thought it was living in Africa helping the children their. Then I took a trip there for two weeks and changed my mind. It is an amazing country, but taking Maleria pills every day and having to worry about what I could or couldn’t do was too much for me long term.

So, where did I move? COSTA RICA. Moving here 2 years ago has been a complete game changer. It has been filled with so many perfect memories and life-changing events. I grow more and more every day. I am learning a new language and making new friends. It has been better than I ever expected it to be. I am living my best life.

Create a way to share with the world:

I created my blog to share what I am learning with the world. I use the blog to motivate and encourage others to live outside their comfort zone and become the best version of themselves. It is a fantastic experience that I look forward to doing every day. I am learning to write better everyday, finding new ways to influence people around me.

Scuba Dive:

I have always wanted to experience life under the sea. The best way to do this was to go scuba diving. I thought you needed certification to do this (it costs around $600), so I never did it. When I moved to Costa Rica, I learned that you could do a discovery dive without the certification. It was such an insane experience! It showed me so much about breathing and being with myself. You can read about it here.

My bucket list is ever changing, always adding new things. Here is my Bucket list as of today and why!

Visit Egypt.

In Egypt, there is so much history as to where spirituality started (Hermetic Philosophy). It is a place full of wonder and curiosity. I want to go to feel the energy and understand more about the culture and history behind the pyramids.

Spend 1-2 Months in Thailand.

There are so many spiritual retreats and meditation centers in Thailand. I want to go and spend some time learning from the people their. Visiting a different culture is great for opening the mind and understanding things in a new way.

Go on a 2-3 month Cruise.

I have never been on a cruise, but a friend of mine is on an epic adventure on a 3 month cruise through different countries. I want to be able to create lasting friendships with fellow travelers as well as meet new people around the world. What better way than on a cruise?

Publish a Book about my life.

This one is in the works. It will take some time to cultivate and produce. I have lots of different stories and events that I want to share with the world. Figuring out how to write it the best way possible is a little tricky.

Create an online coaching business where I can help others find their inner superwoman (or superman).

This is slowly but surely happening. I have to create content and build up my following. I am most excited about this one. I want others to have a life worth living instead of hiding. Each day, I am creating new and exciting things for my blog, so that I can reach this goal within the next 3-4 years.

What is your bucket list?

Take some time to write a bucket list. What types of things would you put on there? Travel? Conferences? Opening a business? Experiences? Which ones have you completed in the past? And how did they change you? Remember, live your best life.

What am I not doing to make my blog better? And what it means for you.

One of the things I do with this blog is to be honest with my life. I do my best not to sugarcoat the experiences that I go through when sharing them with you. I want to be honest because honesty is key in this life. Being honest not only with you all but with myself too. I recently wrote a blog post with 27 questions for self-discovery (If you subscribe to my website you get this). As I was writing, I asked and answered those questions for myself, again. Some answers were the same as the past, and some changed. These questions led me to ask more questions like what can I do to make my blog better? What am I not doing to make my blog better?

I responded to the last question because I thought it was the most important. I was not listening to the advice that many other bloggers had given me in many ways. Here were the top 3…

1. There isn’t consistency between the blog and my social media. My color scheme and layouts are all over the place. It seems like a chaotic mess. I like so many styles it is hard to narrow it down to just one.

2. I don’t have a content marketing strategy. Well, I have a strategy. It is to just do what I feel I need to do. Which really isn’t the best strategy. I need a more concrete strategy in writing that I can follow and implement.

3. I don’t believe in myself or what I am doing. This one is the most difficult one for me. This is the part that is not easy for me to be honest about. This is the one that stops me in my tracks. Let me explain…

From my past posts, most of you know that I struggled with many situations as a child. These situations have made me the strong, loving, and courageous woman I am today. One the other hand, it has given me some doubts, insecurities, and fear. I know that I can inspire people with my writing and experiences. I have seen it happen with family and friends. I know that I can make an impact on the women and the world by overcoming my insecurities and sharing my strengths. If I didn’t think I could really do this I would not have continued to write for as long as I have. I would have given up long ago.

So why do I feel like I do not believe in myself or what I am doing?

I feel that I am good enough to be an influencer on this world. I feel that everyone has left me at some point in my life, which isn’t really true. They just weren’t there emotionally for me. This is something that has taken me a long time to understand and i am still understanding how this affects my life. It affects relationships, my work, and my self esteem, among other things. It’s not easy to overcome and it takes a lot of internal processing and understanding. There are many other people who feel the same because of things that have happened in their past. I know that if i work hard to transmute this into something bigger, it would be a life changer. I know I CAN DO THIS! It is just something I feel. And as i have learned over the years, not everything we feel is the truth.

How have I begun to overcome this?

I have taken personal development classes. I have read books. I attended IHP for 4 years. I have come a long way with understanding the feeling of not being enough. Opening my mind to different ways of living and thinking has been a huge part of this journey. I do this by asking myself questions and digging deep for the honest answer. Once I get to the answer, I do my best to find a new way of being with the issue. For my blog, I have been pushing myself to keep writing and putting the best energy I possibly can out into the world. Even when something tries to stop me, I remember that nothing worth living for is easy. I find a way to overcome it. When I switched the blog around I ran into problems (I still am running into problems), I dug deep to find the courage to make it happen despite the trouble. This helped me have confidence that I can learn and grow if I want it bad enough.

Nothing in this world comes easy. If even it looks easys when others do it, it’s not. They had some struggle (that no one saw) to get to where they are. Part of the blog is to share that struggle and to show you that even with the struggle there is hope and amazement on the other side of it.

What does this mean for you as a reader?

I do struggle with feeling not good enough. I seem to contradict myself with some posts. I am still learning and growing as a person. One day I may see a different point of view to something than I did the day before. I think that is why I don’t have consistency within my website and social media. I want you to know I am looking for a coach that could help me understand myself on a deeper level as well as help me get the blog to a more cohesive place. I am on a journey of self-discovery. It is not clear, cut, and dry. It is messy, difficult, and scary. As I begin to understand, aspects of my life will begin to be more harmonious and tranquil.

I hope that you as a reader becomes motivated, stronger, and inspired by the journey of my life. I wish that you are encouraged to reach your dreams, as I begin to reach mine. I am working on different ideas for courses, ebooks, and printables that can support you in your journey of life. (stay tuned) I love all my readers and followers. I am happy and thrilled to gain many more. Thank you for inspiring me to better myself and my life!

Why I Left My Mom

The Beginning

I was close to my mom especially when I lived with her. She and I got along fairly well. My mom has a disorder that affected me and my older sister growing up. It was not easy to handle at times. I eventually moved out and lived on my own because i needed distance from it. I visited her and my step dad when I wanted too. I spoke to her on the phone. The relationship wasn’t perfect. It felt as though there was resentment towards her that made the visits and phone calls rough. Eventually, this issues took a toll on me. Especially, when she and my step dad wanted to have a child together. I argued and fought with her about this for 2 years. The thought of her raising a child with the disorder was not easy for me to understand. She could barely raise me and my sister, how could she take care of a baby?

The Break Up

Anything I said about her having a baby just started an argument. Neither of us was happy and it was adding distance between us. She went ahead with having the baby anyway. The baby was due in 3 months. I was going through a nasty divorce and wanted advice from her, I was desperate to make my marriage work even though it was a lost cause. Her response was not what I wanted to hear. I felt as though she took my husband’s side instead of being there for me. It killed me. I already felt alone and beaten down. I didn’t need her to take his side. (later, I found out her point of view) What did I do? I broke up with my mom. I let her go and do her thing. While I went and did mine. I had to find myself again after losing my marriage. I had to restart my whole life over again. I was angry at everyone and everything. My marriage failed because my husband found someone else. I lost a lot of friends because they were his friends. It was not a good place to deal with a new sister.

The First Few Months of Space

My mother was not happy about the break up because I just stopped talking to her. I didn’t return phone calls or messages. She hadn’t listened when I needed support for my marriage, so I didn’t think she would understand why I couldn’t speak to her anymore. My stepdad became angry with me as well. My entire family wanted me to reach out to her. It was something I could not do. I needed this space. I needed to find myself. I needed to let go of all the anger and hate I felt inside. My little sister was born shortly after the break-up. I couldn’t bring myself to see her. I didn’t want anything to do with my sister or my mom. I didn’t want my new sister to go through what I went through as a child. I didn’t want to feel helpless when the time came to support her through all the terror that could happen.

Towards the End

This break-up last about 9 months. The last 3 to 4 months, I had started to relieve the pain and resentment towards my mom. My boyfriend at the time had been through worse stuff than I had and he still was great friends with her. I wanted that with my mom. I wanted to forgive my mother so we could have a good life. One of happiness, peace, and trust. I knew it would be hard and I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I was still not ready. I am not sure I was ever really ready. I kept reading BOOKS that helped me change my perspective on life. Eventually, I did what my soul told me I needed to do, reach out to my mom. It started with a handwritten letter that I mailed to her. I told her the reasons I stopped talking to her and that I would contact her soon when I was ready. I needed her to know that it wasn’t going to last forever.

In the End

My mother and I started talking again. It was on my terms and about what I wanted to talk about. I was still not comfortable about having a little sister so we kept that to a minimum as well as other hot topic conversations. It has been 7 years since the break-up and our relationship is something I would never have imagined. She and I talk about everything and anything. She has helped me through so many times as I with her. There are things she has told me that only she and her life coach know. I have grown to forgive her for many, many things. I began to understand that my mom was not taking any sides in my failed marriage, but she took the side of the marriage. She has been with my stepdad for a long time. She knows a thing or two about making a marriage work. It is a wonderful and amazing relationship we have now. The break up helped give us the distance to understand each other in a more profound and harmonious way.

My Little Sister

You are all probably wondering what I decided about my little sister. Well, she and I have a great relationship. I don’t see her often as we live in two different countries yet I facetime her when I can. I even surprised her one Christmas by coming to visit. She is lively, silly, and cute. Her life is something I could have only dreamed of when I was a child. My mom is a different parent to her. What I thought would happen was the complete opposite. My stepdad and mom do everything they can to provide for her in every way. I couldn’t be more happy to have her as my little sister. I don’t regret missing her first years of life because I am present in a more profound way now than I ever could before.

What You Can Learn From This

Family is no exception to taking a break from them. WE can take breaks from anyone we need too. Sometimes the break or separation is temporary to help us find ourselves first. If we don’t have ourselves in a good place, nothing will change. If I had never taken a break from my mother i wouldn’t have the relationship she and I have now. I probably wouldn’t know my little sister the way i do. You have to take care of yourself first, especially with family. If you are struggling with what to do with a negative or hurtful relationship whether it is family or friends, walk away for a little bit and work on yourself. You may find that you can go back and things will be different. You may go back and find nothing has changed. It happens. Yet you will never know if things will be different if you don’t take space to find out.