Tag: self-confidence

Beautiful People and Core Values

I recently heard the song beautiful people by Ed Sheeran. It got me thinking about who I might become if I pursue my coaching business. I am good at helping people find their inner selves. I have seen friends’ and family member’s lives change because of the work I have done with them. I am confident. I am successful in coaching. I bring my core values into my life in every way.

The song insinuates that Beautiful people are people who pop champagne bottles or drive Lamborghinis. Beautiful people are people who sit in the front row of fashion shows or have prenups and broken homes. And that they don’t want to be beautiful people. They aren’t beautiful, it’s not who they are.

I was thinking, would that become me? Would I be the person popping champagne bottles and all glammed up with makeup and the finest of things? Who would I become when I make it in my new career? 

I love the song, but I think we are all beautiful people. Even without the extravagant lifestyle and fancy things, we are all beautiful people. So we already are beautiful people. 

It leads me to keep thinking about the questions I have and how it could benefit you.

Have you ever wanted to switch careers, but were afraid too because you weren’t sure who you’d become?

Have you ever been afraid to make more money because that could bring more fame, more opportunities, and more success?

As I begin my self-love coaching career, I have those fears. I see so many life coaches on Instagram that have these extravagant lifestyles. I have personally seen people change before my eyes because of money. 

It is scary to watch because I want to stay the same humble, thrifty, and the true person I am. It is normal to fear change and what could happen. We all have fears about the unknown. The truth is we will change. We will become someone new. 

We will change

We do have control over that person we become if we stay conscious and aware during the process. When we have our core values deeply ingrained in our being, we will be able to remember and see if who we are becoming is in-line with that. 

If your core values are to be humble and give back to society. If this value is deep within you, as you continue to grow more financially independent you will give back in the ways that align with your core standards. You will continue to do what you already do, just on a bigger scale. 

Some people put a high value on appearances and lifestyles, so when they gain more money they will do this on a bigger scale than they did before. That is okay because that is what they align with. Everyone has the need to look good and have a nice lifestyle, which is great, but we have control over how much we power we put on those needs. 

Our core values dictate how we live our lives no matter who successful or poor we are. As I work on my coaching program I am figuring out what my core values are so that I can stay true to them in my career and life.

Change is good

Change brings a new way of living. It reminds you that you are alive. We can truly live our best life as we grow into our true selves. The only way to achieve that is to grow and change. Learning what our core values are and how we can live our lives according to those values is the best way to know that we will become the person we truly are. There won’t be the fear that you will become someone different, that you don’t like if you know your core values deeply.

Stay tuned for my course in finding your core values. It is geared toward helping you determine what are the most important values in your life.

7 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

I didn’t always have self confidence. For the majority of my life, I was a outgoing and appeared confident. However, that was not the case. Deep inside, I was crying for attention from myself. Instead of looking within and finding myself, I chose men and other things to focus my attention on. For years, i continued to neglect my true self. I ignored the problems I held deep within. Unless you were my close friend or relative, you never knew. After my divorce, I had hit rock bottom. I knew I needed to really find myself or I would have the same thing happen again. I hated how I felt. I hated feeling lonely, used, and betrayed. I started to do these 7 things. It was not a quick fix. It was something that took years of practice and determination to gain the self confidence I have now. Some were easier than others to achieve.

1. Take Time for Yourself

This can look different for different people. It could be taking that vacation you have been putting off for years. It could be as simple as taking a bath with candles. There are so many ways you can take time for yourself. At first for me, it was taking baths and going to the movies alone. As time went on the time was spent differently. During my college years, it was taking space from men. I only spent time with woman. I moved into an apartment with 3 other woman and really understood what the power of having girlfriends was. Within the last few years, it has been quitting my job and moving to a foreign country alone. Depending on where you are in your journey of self confidence will depend on what taking time for yourself looks like.

2. Set Yourself up to Succeed

When you succeed at something that isn’t easy to do, you learn what you are capable of. This is a major part of setting yourself up for success. Start small. If you are learning self confidence (in the beginning) you may not want to move abroad solo. This may be too big of a step for you to begin with. There is no way I would have been able to move abroad 10 years ago. I would have been frustrated and moved back home. Gradually increase the activities and situations you put yourself in. Try not to do too much as one time. Set small goals you are able to achieve. Or set a big goal with little steps to get there.

3. Exercise often

Exercise is the best way to increase endorphins and stay strong. It has helped me release energy and stay focused. I notice a huge different in my overall well being when I do not get a certain amount of exercise in a day. Running, swimming, or any other increase adrenaline activity can help you stay positive. It helps your body stay in shape as well. If you have trouble with this like I do, I suggest an exercise buddy to keep you motivated. My buddy is my dog. She needs to run so I run around the yard with her. The days I don’t do this with her, she eats things she isn’t supposed to. This helps both of us stay in shape and mentally in a good place.

4. Take Care of Your Hygiene

This may seem like it has nothing to do with self confidence. However, it does. This is a huge part of feeling good about yourself. If you aren’t washing your hair or brushing your teeth regularly, you tend to feel down and depressed. The first thing i do when i wake up is take a shower. There was a few days we didn’t have water, and I couldn’t do this. I had to push through the feelings of yuck and grime. It is so important to feel clean. It is a basic need so making sure you met that need is important. It’s the foundation of self confidence.

5. Dig Deep Within Yourself

This is probably the biggest, hardest, and most helpful thing I have done to gain self confidence. I took courses to help me discover some deep rooted issues from my childhood that kept my self confidence low. Some of which were the Landmark Forum, Justin Sterling’s Woman’s course, and attending the Institute for Hermetic Philosophy. Reading books was another way that helped me understand what self confidence looks like. All of these courses and books helped me understand what was stopping me from loving myself and not allowing myself to have better than what i was giving myself.

6. Act Positive

Acting positive is different than thinking positive because it allows you to put into action positivity. I started with doing one positive thing a day. It became a habit and now I do it more often. This could be doing that project that you have been putting off for 3 weeks. Open up your body more by sitting up straight and having better posture. Yoga or deep breathing exercises. Smile or laugh more often. Open up your love. Give compliments to people you might not have in the past. Allow yourself to love freely. All of these things and many more help with self confidence. For me, it was adjusting my posture, giving more love, and do projects i had been putting off.

7. Say No

Since I always wanted to be around people for fear of being alone, I never said no when I should have. Being able to tell people “No I can’t do that” without giving an in depth reason why and NOT FEELING BAD is one of the most self rewarding things you can do. I began to trust myself in ways I never knew i could when I started saying no to things that didn’t suit me. Just simply say NO. Justifying or feeling bad about saying no takes your power from you so you lose self confidence. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY NO! Again, start with small things you want to say no too and move to bigger things. This takes practice as it is scary to do if you have never done it.